


What Ever You Need I Will Be There

by Starfire_Wildheart



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Head Injury, M/M, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-15 03:39:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7205681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Starfire_Wildheart/pseuds/Starfire_Wildheart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Daryl suffers a head injury which causes amnesia and causes him to De-Age mentally to around the age of three or four. This is a cannon divergence. All mistakes are my own. I do not own anyone or anything. Sophia Lives. Ed is alive also. FIC IS COMPLETE!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Katy and Ria who supported and helped me get through this fic! Its done!!!!!!!!

Rick rubbed his temples trying to will the ache in his head down to at least a dull throb. As if the reality he had woken up to wasn’t enough for him to have to deal with he finds out his wife is in love with his best friend and no longer wants to be with him. Truthfully he really wasn’t that upset about it because their relationship had never been what he’d hoped it would be. They loved each other, always had but they were never truly in love and never had that real type of relationship no matter how hard they tried.

 

He and Lori had both come from similar backgrounds, both their families had money but Rick’s family had taught him the value of a dollar, how to work hard to earn it and that it was rude to flaunt the fact that they had it. Lori’s family was the opposite, they flaunted their money and spent it on a whim. She was used to being a ‘kept woman’ even in high school. Lori had been dating the captain of the football team, a senior to her freshman status when she was introduced to Rick Grimes. He was a freshman as well but already somewhat of a star on the football team. His prior performances had anchored him the spot of a quarterback on the team. Realizing that her current boyfriend would not be able to bring her the status she desired much longer because he was graduating she started flirting with Rick every chance she got. He finally asked her out and after talking well into the night she learned that Rick’s family was indeed very wealthy but he didn’t share her tastes or ideas on how money should be spent.

 

She told her mom about him and she encouraged Lori to go after the Grimes boy because he was one of the few people in their town who could keep her in the lifestyle she was used too. She told her mom how Rick felt about wealth but her mom told her that she could change his mind on the topic after she ‘landed’ him.

 

So Lori had pretended to be someone she wasn’t to get with Rick hoping once she had him he would learn to love the true her but all the lies and fakeness just made everything crumble. Rick felt betrayed by her and Lori felt trapped because she had not been able to do as her mom said she would. Had it not been for Carl they would have divorced long ago but he wanted his son to have a happy childhood and had agreed to wait until he was older to file for divorce. Lori reluctantly agreed to wait as well because she didn’t want to face her mother’s disapproval.

 

He was trying to keep his spirits up to encourage the others in the group but after what they found out at the CDC, Rick felt dead inside. He had defeated all odds and survived his coma then found his family only to be told there was no cure for any of this and the world was crumbling. Part of him wanted to stay and let the explosion take him out of this hell but he couldn’t because Carl deserved a chance. He would fight to the death so his son could live and hopefully, come out on the other side of this tragedy.

 

The only bright spot in his life besides his son was Daryl Dixon. When he first met the man at the quarry he felt an instant attraction to him. It wasn’t the fact that he found the man incredibly gorgeous or his take no crap attitude, though those were very attractive things, it was what he saw when he looked Daryl in the eyes. There was pain, fear, and distrust but also buried deep like he was trying his best to hide it was pure innocents and honesty and it pulled Rick in like it was the only light in a dark world. He tried to get close to the hunter but found he was very guarded and distrustful, to say the least so he kept slowly inserting himself into conversations and asking Daryl’s opinion hoping to earn his trust. It seemed to be working because Daryl didn’t shy away from him as much anymore.

 

Now they were stopped on the highway looking for a hose to fit the ever troubled RV when Rick spotted them, a huge group of walkers headed straight for them. He told them all to get down under the cars and hide hoping the rotting, walking corpses would pass them by if they were quiet. His heart pounded in his chest as he panicked when he didn’t make it under the same car as Carl. All he could do was lock eyes with his boy and try to keep him calm through some unspoken connection he hoped was there.

 

He heard a noise to his right and turned toward the sound just in time to see T-Dog slice his arm on a piece of metal that was sticking up off of a car door. Rick was about to move to try to help when Daryl ran around the car to him. The younger man grabbed T-Dog and put him on the ground before covering him with a dead body. The walker herd was close, too close and Rick wanted to yell at him to take cover but couldn’t give away their position. Just as the first walker stepped into view Daryl grabbed a nearby corpse from a car and dropped to the ground covering himself with it.

 

In the couple of weeks that Rick had known Daryl, he’d learned a lot about him, not directly from the man because getting him to talk was like pulling teeth, but from observing him. When the struggle at the rock quarry happened and Daryl’s shirt had gotten pulled up Rick saw the scars that covered his stomach. From his time on the force, he knew what caused scars like that and it was nothing good. Rick watched him closer after that and noticed that every time someone raised their voice or acted out in anger Daryl would flinch or duck away. He tried hard not to show it but Rick was observant and he noticed things that the others didn’t see or maybe didn’t want to see.

 

After they arrived at the CDC, before things went to hell, he spent some time trying to get to know the man and earn his trust. Rick was rewarded with his first real conversation with Daryl, granted Rick did most of the talking but still it was a step in the right direction. Later that night, after most everyone had been drinking, Rick was going to go talk to Jenner and thank him again for opening the doors for them when he saw Shane bump into Daryl, literally, and nearly knock the hunter to the ground.

 

“Hey! Watch where you’re walking,” Daryl yelped.

 

Knowing Shane’s temper Rick started forward again and stepped between them before his friend could throw a punch. He saw the fear and panic in Daryl’s eyes as he got to his feet and felt how bad he was trembling when he had pushed them apart. “What is the problem here?” Rick asked. He had to push Daryl back again because the hunter wasn’t going to let Shane see any weakness in him.

 

“This redneck asshole got in my way,” Shane slurred.

 

“Drunk prick,” Daryl snapped back.

 

“Enough, both of you! Shane, go sleep it off,” he ordered.

 

He looked at his friend in disbelief. How could he take the redneck’s side over his? “Whatever,” he waved him off with a dismissive gesture before going to the room he was sharing with Lori.

 

Rick turned in time to see Daryl heading toward his own room to his room. “Hey wait up,” he said, jogging to catch up with him. “Are you alright?”

 

“M’fine,” he dismissed. “Sorta used to drink assholes, after all, Merle is my brother.”

 

Rick couldn’t help but chuckle at that. He could tell Daryl was still reeling from the encounter and all the information they had learned that day. “Want some company? To talk,” he corrected quickly when Daryl glared at him. It took a lot of convincing but he finally let Rick come in and talk to him for a while. Daryl never said anything about being upset but when Rick sat next to him on the bed so that their shoulders were touching the man stopped trembling and Rick was almost positive he even leaned in a little closer so more of their arms were touching. Not many words were exchanged that night but he could tell and from that moment on they had formed a bond of trust. Rick didn’t push Daryl to speak he just offered him strength and support by physically being there and that was completely foreign to Daryl. If anyone ever did anything for him it meant they wanted something from him.

 

Rick focused again on the present and was grateful it only took a few minutes for the herd to pass and they all breathed a sigh of relief that they’d survived. Rick looked over at Carl, who was hiding under a truck across from him and motioned for him to stay put until he could make sure there were no stragglers around. Just as he was looking to see if everything was clear he saw Sophia, Ed and Carol’s little girl, crawl out from under a car right into the path of a meandering walker. She screamed as it lunged at her and ran to the edge of the highway, crawled over the barrier rail and slid down the embankment into the woods. “Damn it,” Rick huffed pulling himself across the hot pavement and running after her.

 

He had managed to catch up with the little girl but the heat of the Georgia sun, lack of food and water and exhaustion had taken their toll on Rick and he couldn’t carry her and out run both of the geeks. Moving down an embankment he put her back on her feet in the water and told her to hide in a small, root filled hole in the bank. She was scared but he told her that if she ran to keep the sun on her right shoulder and explained why he had to do things this way. She wasn’t happy but she did as she was told while Rick lured the two dead men away from her position and killed them. When he went back for her she was gone. Thinking she had made her way back to the others he headed that way as well only to find she hadn’t returned.

 

Daryl, Glenn, and Shane went back out with Rick to search for Sophia. They looked everywhere for her but couldn’t find her. It was decided that Shane and Glenn should go back to the others and work on gathering supplies and getting the RV fixed while Rick and Daryl continued to search. The hunter had been able to pick up her tracks but eventually night started to fall and they decided to head back. “It wouldn’t help anyone if they got killed looking for her.

 

     On the way, they were searching a nearby hollow tree which Daryl though would have made a great hiding place for her when movement to their right caught their attention. Both men drew their weapons ready for the attack when a heavyset man with a hunting rifle came into view.

 

“Woah,” the man said as he put his hands in the air. “Not looking for trouble I’m just hunting for my family.”

 

Rick holstered the python and motioned for Daryl to lower his bow. “We are searching for a little girl. She got spooked by a walker and ran into the woods. She’s about eight years old, sandy blond hair, skinny. She had on a purple shirt and shorts.”

 

“I haven’t seen her,” he told them.

 

Daryl scuffed his boot against the dirt, “We need to head back before the others try to come looking for us.” He saw the hesitation and guilt in Rick’s face and placed a supportive hand on his arm. “Come on, we will look again tomorrow. Carl will be worried if you’re not back before dark especially after that heard this afternoon. He needs his dad.”

 

Rick sighed knowing that Daryl was right but he didn’t like the thought of leaving Sophia out alone all night. He nodded and reluctantly agreed, “You’re right and we need to let Carol and Ed know what’s going on.”

 

The new man pondered for a moment on the information he’d overheard. They seemed like good people and they were searching for a little girl so surely Hershel wouldn’t be upset with him for doing the right thing. “My name is Otis, by the way.”

 

Rick shook the man’s hand but Daryl stiffened and took a step back not trusting him. “I’m Rick and this is Daryl. If you happen to come across her on your hunt we will be back on the highway.”

 

“Yeah about that,” Otis said, “it’s not safe out there for your families while you are searching the woods for the little girl. I’m staying at a farm near here so why don’t you move there and set up a base camp while you search. It’s off the main road and safer than being exposed on the highway. The name of the man who owns the farm is Hershel Greene, he’s very nice.”

 

“Are you sure he will be ok with this?” Rick asked. It almost sounded too good to be true.

 

“He’s a good Christian man, I think he will be fine with it,” Otis assured him.

 

“That would be great,” Rick said, relieved that his family would have a little more safety at least. Otis gave him directions to the farm and Rick and Daryl headed back to the group. They spent the night on the highway and looked all day the following day for her but didn’t find anything. When they returned for the search Rick had Shane gather them all around by the RV.

 

“Yesterday while we were searching Daryl and I met a man named Otis. He said he was staying at a nearby farm and offered for us to stay there while we searched for Sophia. It will be safer and we will be off the road.”

 

It wasn’t an easy decision to make to move from the last spot Sophia knew they had been but they had all agreed to go after making a sign for her and leaving her some food. Just as they were about to load up Carol had second thoughts and started demanding that she stay behind to wait, of course, no one would let her but she got even more hysterical.

 

“I can stay for a couple days,” Daryl offered.

 

“No,” Rick said instantly. The man had been through more than enough the past couple of weeks and was so weak from lack of food that he was almost out on his feet. Rick had just found out that Daryl had been giving his food to Sophia and Carol because Ed took most of their rations. Shane had told him what he was doing after he saw it happen again. He said that Merle was always makin’ fun of Daryl for it and berating him for being a ‘weak pussy’. Rick hated the fact that he handcuffed Merle on that roof in Atlanta but he was glad his influence was away from the hunter.

 

“I’ll be fine, just leave my bike and directions to this farm,” he argued. Why did he feel like he was the most important thing in the world when Rick noticed him? He should be angry at the man for telling him what he could and couldn’t do but instead, he got butterflies in his stomach like a damn teenager.

 

“No,” Rick turned to face him, “no one is getting left behind.” He saw Daryl open his mouth to argue and stopped him. “Daryl, I mean it. End of discussion,” he arched his brow and gave him a look that showed he meant business. He was just starting to earn the man’s trust and get close to him and he wasn’t about to let him sacrifice himself.

 

Daryl was about to argue and let Rick know he wasn’t the boss of him but he was interrupted. “What about my little girl?” Ed demanded. “You sure as hell left her alone in the woods!” He glared at the sheriff accusingly.

 

Rick spun on him, “I didn’t see you out there looking for her Ed! Want to tell me why the hell strangers have been out combing the woods searching for your daughter but you can’t be bothered to get off your ass to help?” He felt hands on both his arms and saw Shane and Daryl on either side of him trying to calm him and hold him back.

 

“I’ve been comforting my hysterical wife,” Ed shouted! “She feels guilty for not watching her like a good mother should have and letting her run away.”

 

Shane snapped! He let go of Rick and took a swing at Ed connecting with his jaw and sending him sprawling to the ground. “You are an asshole and if it wasn’t for your wife and little girl you would have been out on your ass a long time ago!”

 

Dale stepped in and worked to get everyone calmed down with his usual placating rhetoric. Once he was sure tempers weren’t going to flare again Rick turned to say something to Daryl but he was gone. “Damn it,” he sighed thinking Daryl had taken off into the woods hoping Rick would just leave him behind. He walked to the front of the RV to see if the motorcycle was gone and he saw Daryl sitting on the ground, back pressed against a car with his knees to his chest. “Hey,” he approached him carefully.

 

“Hey,” Daryl instantly started chewing on his thumb said trying to calm his breathing.

 

Rick sat down next to him, “You alright?”

 

“Yeah, just don’t like drama is all,” he said softly, around his thumb.

 

Rick nodded and chuckled, “yeah can’t say that I’m overly fond of it myself especially from pompous, overbearing, drunk, useless bastards.”

 

Daryl couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped him as Rick growled. “Wanna tell me how you really feel sheriff?”

 

Rick laughed and nudged Daryl with his shoulder, “Sorry.”

 

“Don’t be,” Daryl shook his head and started to relax with Rick close. “Why won’t you let me stay behind?”

 

“Why would I leave you behind?” He didn’t understand why Daryl thought that was even an option.

 

He shrugged, “Carol wants someone to stay in case the kid comes back.”

 

“So you decided that had to be you how?”

 

“Because I’m,” he paused unsure of how to answer. No one had ever asked him why he should be left behind or chosen to do the dangerous job, he just was. “I can take care of myself.”

 

“I have no doubt of that,” he nodded. “But there is no way I would put you in that sort of danger much less alone when we just come across the biggest group of walkers we’ve ever seen. You have this habit of putting yourself in danger or giving people your part of the rations instead of taking care of yourself. It’s like you think you and your health don’t matter.” He watched Daryl squirm and look at him like he wanted to ask him something important but before the hunter could speak, he heard Shane say his name.

 

“Rick,” Shane said as he rounded the front of the RV, “everyone has agreed that we go to this farm and search from there. We can do what Daryl suggested and leave some food and water for her along with a note then drive back here a couple times a day and check and see if she circled back here.”

 

“I don’t see her finding her way back to the highway, though,” Daryl said quietly, unsure if they would want to hear what he had to say.

 

“Why’s that,” Rick asked?

 

“Cause she’s dead,” Shane half asked and half stated.

 

“No,” Daryl frowned. “Why are you so quick to give up on her? She’s scared and lost if we can find her before she exhausts herself and she thinks clear enough to remember what I’ve told her the past couple weeks then she will be fine.”

 

“What makes you so sure?” Shane asked, genuinely curious.

 

“I survived on my own when I was younger than her,” he shrugged, “no reason she can’t.”

 

“Yeah but something tells me you were raised a lot different than her,” Shane said carefully having seen enough of Daryl to know that the kid had a rough life. When he and Merle first showed up with the group he thought Daryl and Merle were the same but Rick has almost convinced him that the kid is different.

 

He shrugged again blushing because he knew Rick and Shane had seen some of the scars and bruises on his body during his fight with Rick the day he found out about Merle. “Her momma gets between ‘em when she can but that little girl’s had it rough.”

 

“Are we gonna stay out here in the heat all day or are we going to this farm,” Lori asked as she moved toward them? She saw Daryl sitting on the ground with Shane kneeling in front of him and Rick sitting to his left. “What’s your problem?” she asked the young man, her tone conveying her true feelings toward him.

 

Shane and Rick both looked up at her, shocked at her attitude. While Merle was grating and piggish the youngest Dixon had never been anything like that toward them, especially the women and children. Shane was beginning to realize that Rick was right, he had been just as biased as her about the kid.

 

Daryl bristled and pushed himself to his feet, “Nothin’ wrong with me Olive Oyl. I’ll take lead and clear the path.” He stepped over Rick’s legs and went to his motorcycle.

 

“What the hell was that about?” Rick snapped at Lori as he got to his feet. “Daryl wait!”

 

Shane pushed himself up from his crouched position and turned to his girlfriend. “What was that?”

 

She shrugged, “just ready to get out of here after all this.”

 

He hugged her and kissed the top of her head, “me too. Let’s get everyone ready to go.”

 

Rick got to Daryl just as he swung his leg over the bike. “Wait a second Daryl!”

 

“What,” he asked tossing a glance at the cop from behind his sunglasses?

 

There were several things he wanted to say but now just wasn’t the time. “Not too far ahead, I want to be able to see if there is trouble so we can help and don’t try to take on to many walkers alone, understand?”

 

“You are getting pretty comfortable giving me orders,” he arched his brow.

 

“I’m not giving you orders,” he defended. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt.

 

“Yes officer,” he shook his head and smirked at the man before kicking the bike to life. Rick fought to hide his smile and lightly popped Daryl in the back of the head before pointing a finger at him and going to his car. He was positive he heard the biker laughing as he drove away.

 

 

It didn’t take long before they were pulling up to a rather large farmhouse on a plush spread of land with a couple of barns and some cattle. Everyone got out and gathered around at the cars. “Wait here while I go talk to this man and feel out the situation,” he told them. Rick approached the house cautiously not sure if this Hershel was as friendly as Otis had said. He froze when the screen door opened and an older man, younger man, Otis and three women came out on the porch. “Hi, my name is Rick.”

 

The white haired man nodded in greeting, “Otis explained your circumstances and you can stay until you find her but I’m afraid I will have to ask that you set up camp outside.”

 

“Of course,” Rick nodded. He understood him not trusting strangers in his home. If he were honest with himself Rick didn’t know if he would allow this many people on his land if the shoe was on the other foot. “We appreciate the use of your land and if you have any maps of the area or anything that could help us we’d be grateful.”

 

The older man nodded, “My name is Hershel, this is Maggie, Beth, Shawn and Patricia. “Maggie, would you go to my study and get the maps of our land and the surrounding area for Rick?”

 

“Sure,” the girl smiled and went inside.

 

“You can pull up over there by that tree and I’ll be down in a minute to show you where to get some water and things,” Hershel told him.

 

Several days had passed since their arrival to the farm and all of them had been searching the woods for Sophia. Rick gave everyone sections and partners to be safe but Daryl insisted he was better alone so Rick didn’t stop him. He told him he had to be back before dark each day though or they would start searching for him and he reluctantly agreed because he didn’t want to distract from finding the little girl.

 

He had spent most of his nights talking to Daryl about everything from the search areas he’d covered to their lives before all this happened. It seemed like each day he got more and more comfortable with Rick and each day Rick’s feelings for the other man kept getting stronger and stronger. Now every time the hunter went out Rick worried a little more about him until he returned.

 

Rick was talking to Hershel about starting gun training for everyone half expecting the man to balk at the idea but to his surprise, he readily agreed to it and showed him an area on the map that would be safe to do it. Hershel headed into the house and Rick went to tell Shane the good news when he heard Andrea yell “WALKER” and saw her aim her rifle.

 

“No!” he yelled running toward her. “Is it just the one?”

 

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I can get it from here, though.”

 

“No, we can take care of it quietly. No need to draw any more of them,” he said as he, Shane and Glenn ran toward the thing approaching from the tree line. He drew his gun just in case and aimed.

 

“That’s the third time you pointed that thing at me,” he staggered. “You gonna pull the trigger?”

 

Three things happened in rapid succession. One, they realized that it was Daryl, bloody and injured but not a walker, two he was carrying something on his back and three, Andrea didn’t follow orders well at all! A gunshot rang out and Daryl lurched to the side as a bullet hit his head and he crumpled to the ground. “NO!!” Rick cried out running the rest of the way to him.

 

“Damn it!” Shane yelled waving Andrea off. “Hold your fire!”

 

“Daryl!” Rick collapsed to his knees next to the young man. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye just as he heard a tiny grunt. “Sophia?” He gasped and rolled Daryl to the side so Shane could pull her out from under him.

 

“Oh my God,” Shane was dumbfounded the kid actually found the little girl!

 

“Daryl,” she whimpered reaching back for him weakly as Shane lifted her and quickly checked her over for wounds. She looked dehydrated and half-starved but otherwise fine.

 

“Shhh,” he soothed as he handed her off to Glenn. “We’re going to take care of him, you just go see your momma. She’s worried sick about you.” Once she was in Glenn’s arms and headed toward the camp Shane knelt next to his friend’s side.

 

“Was jus’ kiddin’,” Daryl slurred.

 

Rick was searching his battered body injuries and found several but thank God the gunshot wound turned out to be just a graze, though it was bleeding badly. “Come on, let’s get you to Hershel,” he said, standing. Rick and Shane each took a side and pulled him to his feet causing Daryl to cry out as his skin was stretched around the still protruding arrow in his side. “I’m sorry buddy, I know it hurts,” Rick soothed as Daryl leaned closer to him. “We’ll be as quick as we can.”

 

Daryl managed to lift his head enough to look into Rick’s eyes. “She’s safe now,” he sighed before passing out from the pain.

 

Hershel led them to a guest room and had Patricia and Maggie spread out some towels to on the bed then helped lower the young man down, careful of the arrow sticking out of him. “Patricia get my kit, Maggie get a pan of water and a wash cloth.” The women went to do as ordered and Hershel leaned in for a closer look at his patient. He touched the wound on his temple where the bullet has struck him. It was a bit more than a graze. The bullet tore through the flesh and hit hard enough to cause bruising on the surrounding area. This kid got lucky today because had everything not been perfect he would have been dead, bullet tearing through his skull instead or ricocheting off. As he was feeling around to see if there were any other injuries he noticed blood on the pillow under Daryl’s head. He lifted his head enough to slip his hand under and feel, there was a pretty big knot under a laceration. He must have fallen and hit his head on something. Maggie and Patricia brought all the supplies he’d requested and sat them down on the dresser. Carefully wrapping a pressure bandage around Daryl’s head to slow the bleeding he looked at the others, “I need someone to stay and help me, one of you two” he pointed at Rick and Shane, “the rest of you can go.”

 

“I’ll stay,” Rick volunteered. He figured between the two of them Daryl would be more comfortable with him. The others all left the room allowing Hershel to start working. “What do you need me to do?”

 

“Start by taking his boots off then go ahead and get on the bed on the other side of him,” Hershel said as he washed his hands and prepared to get to work. He put some gloves on and dug through his kit to get some scissors while Rick crawled onto the bed on his knees beside his friend. “Ok, I want you to hold him on his side while I cut this shirt off. If he starts to wake up I need you to talk to him and keep him calm. We can’t take any chances on making his injuries worse if he struggles.”

 

“Alright,” he nodded as he held on to Daryl. He watched as Hershel cut the muddy, shirt away and both men cringed when they saw the scars crisscrossing the young man’s back. He’d seen a few of them at the quarry but he had no idea it had been this bad. Anger was welling up inside him more by the second as he realized the hell Daryl must have lived through.

 

“Ok, I have twisted the arrowhead off the shaft. I want you to pull the arrow toward you until it’s out of him.”

 

Rick took a hold of the fletching and pulled, grateful that it slipped free smoothly without causing any more damage. He tossed it aside like it burned him, glaring at it with disdain. “Blood is pouring out of him,” he said panicked.

 

Hershel handed him a towel, “Keep pressure on it while I try to see if it punctured any organs.” Daryl never woke or moved the entire time Hershel probed the injury. “Looks like someone is watching out for your friend because there is no damage to any of his organs just muscle and tissue. I’m going to clean and suture the entry and exit wounds then we will move to his head injury.” It took about eight sutures in each wound to close them and Daryl never flinched or reacted in any way, Hershel was worried.

 

The Vet moved up to the head of the prone man. “Rick I want you to hold his head for me like this,” he placed the sheriff’s hands where he wanted them then tilted Daryl’s head so he could see the damage to the back of his skull. He felt for any skull fracture as well as he could detect then took a closer look. Daryl had taken a nasty hit to his head and there was already a huge knot and swelling on the outside and Hershel knows that meant there was a really good chance of swelling in his brain as well.

 

The two men worked together to stitch the injuries to his head then began the task of stripping him down and cleaning him. They found several lacerations and bruises on his body, some new, some old, some from being in the woods looking for Sophia and others that were fading and healing that Rick was somehow sure came from Merle. If there was still a police system, a justice system Rick would be railing to punish the people who’d hurt his young friend. Daryl was malnourished, most of them were at this point but you could see his ribs and his stomach was concave. He had muscle but no body fat at all. Rick knew his clothes were hanging off of him but he didn’t realize how bad it was. The scars on his back had matching sets on the back of his thighs and ass as well as several crisscrossing his stomach. As if that wasn’t enough there were what looked like cigarette burn scars on his lower stomach and hips and a jagged scar near his groin that Rick didn’t even want to think about.

 

“Rick?” Hershel said for the third time. He could see the anger rising in his new friend and while he understood it there was no time for it. Rick needed to keep his focus and stay strong. “Rick,” he said again, this time touching his arm.

 

“Huh?” he asked, snapping back from his thoughts. “I’m sorry what were you saying?”

 

“I said he has suffered a major head trauma and from the looks of the damage to the outside of his head, I’m afraid that he may have swelling in his brain. I have no way of stopping it and we have no ice or anything cold to bring the swelling down. We are just going to have to wait and see what happens.” Hershel took a deep breath, “Rick, if I’m honest, there is a chance he could have suffered brain damage.”

 

Rick was glad he was already sitting down because his heart dropped to his feet. He hadn’t known Daryl long but the two had a very strong connection and had gotten close since Rick joined the group. They had bonded in a special way and Rick was falling in love with the man and now he might lose him. He swallowed past the tears building and spoke softly, “go see about Sophia. I’m going to stay with him.”

 

“If you need anything we will be right outside. I’ll be back to check on him later.” Hershel gathered his stuff and went to check on the little girl.

 

Moving off the bed Rick pulled the cover over Daryl making him as comfortable as he could before pulling a chair next to the bed and sitting down. He took Daryl’s hand and kissed the back of it whispering, “Please don’t leave me. Not now, not before I get to tell you how I feel about you.”


	2. Chapter 2

Rick leaned against the porch rail watching Carl and Sophia play in the front yard of the farm house. It had been four days and Sophia was recovering nicely. She had several scrapes and bruises and was starving and dehydrated but she was starting to get her color and energy back thanks to Hershel and her momma’s care. She was still weak and tired but she was strong and would make a full recovery.

 

Daryl on the other hand still hadn’t opened his eyes or even moved. Rick only left his side to go to the bathroom, visit Sophia and see Carl but today Hershel threatened to shoot him in the ass if he didn’t step outside to get some fresh air for a few minutes.

 

“Still no changes?” Shane asked as he walked up on the porch. “I thought the bullet just grazed him but when Maggie told us how bad he was,” he just shook his head.

 

Carol, Sophia and Rick were the only people who’d been in to see Daryl, the others not wanting to face how bad he was. Oh they had excuses like going to gather supplies on runs or protecting camp but they could have made time if they’d wanted to in his opinion. Rick shook his head and squeezed the rail tighter. “Wasn’t just the bullet. When he fell he twisted to the side so he didn’t land flat against Sophia and he smacked his head on the big stone that was in the field. It was that and the impact of the bullet that caused his brain to swell.”

 

Shane was fully aware of Rick’s feelings toward the youngest Dixon and he hated this for his friend. He didn’t know what to say or how to help so he had avoided the situation all together and now he realized that had been a mistake because Rick was struggling. “If there is anything I can do brother,” he offered.

 

“Thanks,” Rick sighed and stood up straight. “Thanks for helping keep an eye on Carl while all this is going on. Lori was never great at keeping up with him,” he hedged. He didn’t want to be rude about his ex but he couldn’t get over how she’d been acting the past few days. She acted like the fact Rick was spending time with Daryl was the worst thing that ever happened. In one of her rants she even told him he was a shitty father and didn’t love his son because he wanted to help Daryl. He loved Carl more than anything and her saying he was a bad father had cut him deeply.

 

Beth stepped out on the porch, “Rick, daddy needs you. Daryl’s awake,” she held the door open for him.

 

Rick and Shane both rushed into the room and saw him in the floor, pressed tightly against the corner of the wall with his knees pulled to his chest, rocking and whimpering. “Darly?” Rick asked worriedly.

 

“He’s disoriented and scared,” Hershel said. “Let’s give them some space people.” He shooed the others out of the room allowing Rick to try and calm the frightened man.

 

Rick carefully approached Daryl and sat down on the floor across from him, the man flinched and cowered like he was about to be struck. “Hey?”

 

Daryl lifted his head off his knees enough to look at the strange man. His head and his side hurt and he didn’t know where he was. The room he was in was way too nice and clean to belong to anyone they knew and he’d never seen the strange men around their place. He must have done something really bad though because he woke up naked in a strange bed and a strange house. His pa was going to kill him!

 

“Daryl?” Rick was really worried now, the look in his friend’s eyes was one of fear and confusion. “I need you to talk to me man so I can help you.”

 

“W..here am I?” his voice sounded funny. It was scratchy and soft but really deep!

 

“We are at Hershel’s,” he reminded him.

 

Daryl rubbed at his face with his hands, “Why ‘m I here?”

 

Rick frowned at the way Daryl was speaking. His voice was soft, timid and held a childlike quality to it. “Daryl,” He leaned toward him and again Daryl flinched away and cowered. “Do you know who I am?”

 

The huddled man sniffled as he shook his head no. “How you know me?”

 

“HERSHEL!” Rick yelled.

 

The vet walked into the room quickly. “What is it?”

 

“He doesn’t remember anything and something is wrong,” Rick explained.

 

Daryl squeezed himself into an even tighter ball when the man shouted and whimpered when the older man approached. Why was this happening to him?

 

Hershel sat down on the side of the bed trying not to spook him more. “Daryl, what’s the last thing you remember?”

 

He wasn’t supposed to talk to adults but if he didn’t answer a direct question he got hit too. Was he being tested? He wished he had never woke up! He could feel them staring at him and swallowed hard. “Got a whippin’ and pa locked me in da closet ‘gain,” he said softly.

 

Rick and Hershel were both shocked at his response. “How old are you son” Hershel asked Daryl?

 

“Thwee,” he sniffled and tears welled in his eyes as he hugged his knees and rocked back and forth.

 

“Daryl,” Hershel said carefully, “we are going to get you some water ok? I want you to stay where you are and we will be right back.”

 

Rick felt Hershel tap him on the shoulder and he stood and followed him into the hall. “What the hell?”

 

“It’s a result of the head injury.” He shook his head, “I’m not a doctor Rick but I have heard of mental regression brought on by trauma. He truly believes he is a three year old boy and the last thing he remembers is what he said, being beat and thrown in a closet by his father.”

 

“What do we do? Is he going to stay like this?”

 

“Only time will tell if this is permanent or not. All we can do is try to comfort him and be there for him. In his mind he is three so we will have to teach him just like we would a child.” He put his hand on Rick’s shoulder, “he’s not your responsibility son, you don’t have to be the one to care for him. You have a lot on your plate already. I’ll get Patricia to take care of him.”

 

Rick was still dazed by everything that had happened and didn’t pay attention to the woman walking past them and going into the bedroom where Daryl was. Having heard Hershel, Patricia went to the man to introduce herself. She walked up to Daryl who was still huddled in the corner. “Hi there. My name is Patricia and I’m going to take care of you now,” she smiled.

 

Daryl tightened his arms around himself and started to cry. He didn’t want her to touch him. He didn’t know her or what she wanted to do to him.

 

“Let’s get you off the floor ok?” She grabbed his arm and tried to pull him up but she was not prepared for his reaction to her touch.

 

Daryl watched the strange woman approach and started trembling so hard his teeth were chattering and when she touched him he started screaming and crying trying to get away from her. ”No! No! No hurt, pwease!” He flailed and slammed against the wall, banging his head and popping a couple of stitches in his side from his struggles. He didn’t want to be hit again!

 

“What is going on?” Rick demanded as he and Hershel rushed into the room. He pushed past a stunned Patricia and knelt next to the flailing man on the floor. “Daryl, stop it you’re hurting yourself!” He grabbed his arms and held him still. There were real tears flowing down the man’s face and fear in his huge, blue eyes. It was then that Rick realized just how right Hershel had been. Those were the same blue eyes of his friend but the innocents, confusion and terror he saw in their depths belonged to a frightened, abused little boy.

 

He changed his stance and the tone of his voice and approached Daryl like he would have approached Carl at that age. “Shhh, calm down,” he soothed as he sat down on the floor next to him. He let Daryl adjust to his closeness before reaching out and putting a hand on his back. The man flinched hard again and Rick clinched his jaw. “I know you’re scared buddy but I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”

 

Daryl turned his head so that he was looking at the man next to him. He didn’t know why but his heart told him the man was nice and that he could trust him. He wanted crawl to him but he was too afraid. He didn’t know the rules here and if he broke rules there was punishment.

 

Rick watched as an internal debate played out behind the boys eyes. Once he felt the trembling stop under his hand he maneuvered Daryl so that he was sitting in his lap and cradled him like a child. Daryl whimpered and started to cry again and whispering something over and over that.

 

“I not be bad no more. I be good boy. Won’t be bad no more. Won’t. P’omise.” Daryl repeated the same mantra over and over like he did before his daddy would spank him. When the man pulled him into his lap he knew he was gonna get another whippin’ but he doesn’t know what he did wrong this time. He wanted to be a good boy but he never seemed to be able to manage it.

 

Rick was acutely aware that Daryl was completely nude where they had cleaned him up and left him in bed after treating his injuries. Careful of his injured, bleeding side he rocked Daryl gently and placed a soft kiss on his head. “You are a very good boy Daryl and you are not in trouble, I promise so calm down. You are going to hurt yourself worse buddy. Shhh, it’s alright now.”

 

Daryl curled into a ball again and pressed his face against Rick’s neck, his hands fisted in the sheriff’s shirt as he clung to him and cried. He cried so hard and long that he didn’t have any more tears just hiccupped whines were left. The strong arm’s holding him and rubbing his back, the broad chest he was clinging too and the strong shoulder his head was resting on made him feel safe for the first time in his life.

 

“Hand me that sheet and a couple of pillows and leave us alone for a bit,” he told Hershel and Patricia. He wrapped the ‘boy’ in the sheet and placed the pillows behind Daryl’s back, against the wall, so that Rick wasn’t holding all of his weight in his arm. Once they were alone he adjusted Daryl’s position so he could wipe the boy’s face and look at him. “I know you don’t remember what’s happening but you have to believe me when I tell you that you are safe alright?”

 

Daryl looked up at Rick with wet, red eyes. “Why am I here mister? Did Papa frow me ‘way? He said he gonna put me in da trash next time l’s bad. I tired not ta be but I always bad,” his bottom lip jutted out in an adorable pout.

 

He didn’t know how to try to explain what had happened and why he was with Rick and the group in a way that this Daryl could understand it without causing him more trauma. On one hand if he told Daryl the harsh truth of what happened, being in a three year old mind set he wouldn’t understand a damn thing and there was a good chance that he would be so traumatized that he would shut down completely. One the other hand they had no idea how long this memory loss would last and if the right thing to do would be treat Daryl the age he believed he was, besides maybe this would be Daryl’s chance to have a good childhood memory. As sad as it sounds here at the end of the world Rick truly believed they could make Daryl’s new childhood happier than the one he had before.


	3. Chapter 3

Rick looked back at Daryl sitting on the porch steps with Maggie, chewing nervously on his thumb while she tried to keep him occupied looking at some pictures in a book. Last night had been a hard, uphill battle trying to explain things to Daryl. Rick told him that he’d been with Merle but something had happened and Daryl got hurt. Rick and his people found them and Merle had asked Rick to take care of his little brother so he could try to help some friends. He told him that his father had gotten lost when things started happening and no one knew where he was. Rick was stunned that Daryl didn’t have any trouble believing his story. It took a lot of reassuring that Rick and his people weren’t the bad men his dad had always told him he was going to sell him too and that he was safe. In the end, exhaustion won over and Daryl fell into a fitful sleep but woke several times screaming. Eventually, Rick ended up laying down with him to keep him calm which seemed to do the trick because Daryl slept the rest of the night curled against his side.

 

When they woke this morning Rick spent a long time convincing him to meet the rest of the group. He started slowly by bringing Hershel in and letting him change his bandages. Daryl was scared to be touched but Rick had anticipated that and sat down pulling the boy to set in his lap. That seemed to calm him enough to let Hershel take care of what he needed to.

 

Getting Daryl into clothes was awkward because he wasn’t used to his long limbs and bigger body. It was all new to him and he seemed very entertained by it. Rick couldn’t help but laugh when they were putting Daryl’s boots on and the boy squealed and giggled at how big his feet were. “D’re bigger ‘en Merle’s even,” he beamed.

 

Once he was dressed he took him to Maggie and introduced her to him. “Hi there,” Maggie smiled at Daryl.

 

Daryl hid behind Rick, peeping around his shoulder to look at her. “Hi,” he said softly, pressing his blushing face against Rick’s back.

 

“I’m gonna go set on the porch while Rick goes to talk to some of the people at camp. Would you come set with me so I won’t be lonely?” she asked him hoping to make it easier for him is she made it seem like he was helping her. She’d talked to her daddy earlier and he’d explained what Rick needed her to do.

 

Rick heard the soft whimper behind him and turned to face Daryl. “You will be able to see me the entire time, I promise and if you need me I will be able to hear you.” He watched tears well up in Daryl’s eyes and hated that he had to leave him for even a moment but he needed to prepare the others for what to expect. Most of them would be fine and treat Daryl with respect but there were a couple of people he felt the need to warn to be on their best behavior. “It will only be a few minutes I promise then we will go for a walk. Can you do that and be a good boy for me?”

 

Daryl took a deep breath and nodded. He wanted to be a good boy and maybe, this time, he would be and he could make Rick proud. “Kay,” he sniffled and sat on the step next to Maggie.

 

She saw tears well in Daryl’s eyes so she opened the book. “Do you like animals?” When he nodded she pointed to a picture of a rabbit. “What’s that one?”

 

Reluctantly taking his eyes off of Rick he looked down to where Maggie was pointing. “Is a bunneh.”

 

“And this one?” She pointed at a brown bear cub.

 

“B’ar.”

 

“This one?”

 

He looked at the picture, “Dunno dat one.”

 

She was surprised by that. “It’s a horse! We have some of those in the barn. Would you like to go see them sometime?”

 

“W’eal ones?” he asked in awe.

 

“Yep,” she nodded.

 

“Will dey eat mes?” he asked worriedly.

 

“No,” she laughed. “They are friendly as long as you are nice to them.

 

“I can be nice,” he nodded. He was gonna get to see a real horse!

 

Rick walked into the camp where everyone was just finishing their breakfast. Shane looked up from his seat by the fire, “How is he?”

 

“Well, he’s awake and his injuries are healing but there is a problem,” he hedged.

 

“What problem?” Carol asked. She was anxious to thank him for saving Sophia.

 

“He has a problem with his memory,” Rick explained.

 

“Amnesia?” Dale asked.

 

“Hershel said it was called age regression and it was caused by the swelling in his brain.”

 

“Age Regression,” Glenn asked. “What does that mean?”

 

“Daryl thinks he’s three years old. He doesn’t remember anything past the age of three which includes motor skills, speech and anything he’s learned in the past. It is all gone.”

 

Everyone was in a stunned silence trying to process what they had been told. “Is this permanent?” Shane finally asked.

 

“I hope not. Hershel said that only time would tell so we just have to wait it out. It’s not like we have a neurologist and a trauma center to take him to and get a CT scan of his head. For all we know his brain is still swollen and putting pressure somewhere that’s causing him to be this way,“ he explained.

 

“What can we do to help?” Shane asked. He saw Lori’s angry glare but he wanted to help his friend any way he could.

 

“I want to bring him over and introduce him to everyone but if you can’t deal with this, with how he is right now then just don’t say anything at all. If he’s traumatized then we may do more damage than he has now.”

 

Shane looked at everyone, “got that, people? Anyone have a problem with this?” Everyone shook their heads no except Ed who just rolled his eyes and walked back to his tent. Shane turned to Rick, “Bring him.”

 

Daryl looked up from his book as Rick sat down next to him on the steps. “Told ya I’d be right back,” he smiled.

 

Daryl nodded happily and closed his book handing it back to Maggie. “Maggie said I see weal horse,” he said softly.

 

“Yeah?” He couldn’t help but smile at his excitement.

“She p’omised he won’t eatted me.”

 

“I bet she might even have one we could ride if you ask her real nice.”

 

His eyes got as wide as saucers and he turned his head to Maggie. “We ride horse?”

 

“We have one big enough for two people to ride so we can do that later this afternoon alright?”

 

He turned his head looking back and forth between Maggie and Rick. He was so excited he didn’t know what to say! Animals were only considered food around his pa and Merle so he never got to be around them unless his was watching them be skinned and gutted.

 

“I will see you a little later,” she smiled and kissed his head before going inside.

 

“Thank you for being such a good boy for Maggie,” Rick praised him.

 

Daryl’s turned and looked at him, surprised at that. “I..I.. was good boy?” He tilted his head and looked at Rick questioningly.

 

“Of course, you were,” he smiled at the blush that spread across Daryl’s cheeks and couldn’t resist leaning in and kissing his head. “You ready to go for that walk kiddo?”

 

“Uh huh,” he said excitedly.

 

Rick stood and helped Daryl to his feet. “I want you to meet the others alright?”

 

Daryl stopped and chewed at his thumb. “Wh.. what if they don’ wike me?” he asked nervously.

 

“Why wouldn’t they like you?’’

 

He chewed more on his thumb and looked out over the yard trying to focus on anything else but the question. “Cause ’m Daryl. Pa said I a accident so nobody wan’ me round.”

 

“Well your dad is an idiot,” Rick snapped instantly regretting his outburst when he saw Daryl’s wide eyes.

 

“You no say dat!” he said panicked. He looked around at the tree lines then the house. “He hurt you if he hears!”

 

Rick pulled the boy into a hug and rubbed his back to calm him. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said that ok? Your dad is not here kiddo so no one is getting hurt. Shhh,” he soothed. When Daryl calmed down he gently pushed him back so that he could look at him. “These people are your friends alright. We don’t have to stay long but I think it will be good for you.”

 

Daryl nodded and wrapped his hand around two of Rick’s fingers. “You gonna stay wif me right?”

 

“I won’t leave your side kiddo. I promise,” he smiled as he walked him toward the camp.

 

Daryl looked down at his feet not daring to look at the other people. He could feel them staring at him and he didn’t like being the center of attention at all. Nerves getting the best of him he turned so that he was hidden halfway behind Rick and started chewing on his thumb nervously.

 

Shane was the first to step forward hoping to break the ice. “Hey there,” he leaned down so he could catch the boy’s eye. When he noticed Rick giving the boy a nudge to turn so he could see Shane. “Rick here said he was bringing someone named Daryl to meet us. Are you Daryl?”

 

Rick felt Daryl nod against his shoulder and shot his friend a grateful look for trying to help make the kid feel comfortable.

 

“My name is Shane,” he offered Daryl his hand to shake.

 

Rick turned enough to face Daryl who was clinging to him like a dying man to a life preserver and carefully tugged his thumb free from his teeth. “Can you shake Shane’s hand little one?”

 

Daryl looked up at Rick nervously and clinched the back of his shirt in his free hand fearfully. This was what Rick wanted him to do and he wanted to make him proud so he gently put his hand in Shane’s and shook it once.

 

Shane could feel the boy trembling when he took his hand and he knew at that moment that this was all true. Their friend was really a little boy trapped in a man’s body and Shane’s instincts kicked in. He would do everything he could to help Rick with him. He moved so that he was at Daryl’s other side, “Let’s introduce everyone huh? The guy in the red hat is Glenn,” he pointed to each person telling the boy who they were and they all either waved or said hello until he got to Sophia. As soon as Shane said her name she ran up and hugged Daryl tightly.

 

Daryl looked panicked and clung to Rick but forced a smile as he gently patted the girl with his free hand. “You remember me Daryl?” she asked brightly.

 

Carol approached and knelt next to her daughter, “Sweetheart remember what we talked about?” she said carefully.

 

“Oh yeah,” Sophia nodded then turned back toward Daryl. “You saved me, Daryl! You are very brave!” the little girl said happily

 

Carol stood and gently cupped the boy’s cheek. “I can’t thank you enough for what you have done for our family Daryl,” tears welled in her eyes.

 

Daryl felt his face burning and he tried to hide his head against Rick’s arm again. He didn’t know what they were talking about but he was sure they had the wrong boy ‘cause he was not brave and he never did anything good!

 

“Hey,” Rick gently nudged him with his shoulder. “I want you to meet my son Carl,” he smiled as he approached. Rick mussed Carl’s hair and he batted at his hand playfully.

 

Daryl looked at the boy then up at Rick seeing the way they looked at each other. Daryl’s Pa never looked at him that way, like he was the best new toy ever. “Y..you have a son?”

 

“I do,” he smiled at Daryl.

 

“Hi,” Carl said. He understood that Daryl was sick but he really didn’t see the big deal with it all. He hated that Daryl got hurt but he was still alive and that was more than most people got any more.


	4. Chapter 4

Several days had passed with Daryl being down at the camp. He and Sophia had hit it off well and it didn’t seem to bother the little girl that he was a child in a grown man’s body. Carl didn’t seem to be bothered by him either but was more standoffish than Sophia. Carol was good with him also and surprisingly Shane too.

 

Rick was worried because he had to leave Daryl for the first time today. Maggie and Glenn had gone on a run into town, Hershel and Beth were working on a fence some of the cows had taken out the day before, Carol and Andrea were working on repairs to one of the wells with Dale standing guard and that only left Ed and Lori and God knows he’d never leave a kid with Ed.

 

“Are you sure you are ok with doing this? I don’t want any excuses for things to go wrong Lori,” Rick told her. He and Shane had both talked to her and she seemed to be less, what was the word he was searching for, bitchy, about Daryl since his injury.

 

“We will be fine Rick,” she assured him.

 

“We will only be gone a couple of hours,” Shane reassured him. “You can take him for that ride Maggie promised him as a reward when we get back.

 

Lori had managed to keep Carl alive as a kid, though the circumstances were drastically different. “If you mess this up, Lori…”

 

“I won’t Rick. Honestly, you act like I’m not capable of being an adult,” she huffed.

 

He started to respond to her comment but Shane shot him a look that said ‘she’s trying’ so he stopped. “I’ll go tell him we are leaving.”

 

As soon as Rick was out of earshot Shane leaned closer to Lori. “Don’t fuck this up.”

 

“You don’t trust me either?” She scoffed.

 

“I trust you,” he hedged, “but I also know you bias against Daryl because Rick likes him. You tend to have this habit of wanting what you can’t have and then destroying whatever you think stands in your way.”

 

She stood, mouth agape as Shane walked away wondering if he had realized what she had done with him and Rick. Did he know that she was trying to pit the two of them against each other because she wanted Rick back? Shane had been the Alpha male before which made her the leaders girl but now that Rick was back there was no doubt who people looked to as their leader and she wanted to be at his side again.

 

Rick knelt down next to Daryl, who was currently hugging his knees to his chest and rocking. “I will be back as soon as I can little one, I promise. You know I wouldn’t leave if it wasn’t important.” He lifted the trembling chin with his hand and looked into the wet, blue eyes. “You play with Sophia and Carl and I’ll be back before you know it, buddy. If you need anything just tell Lori and she’ll take care of it.”

 

Daryl jumped up and wrapped his arms around Rick’s neck burying his face against his neck. “P’omise you be back?” he sniffled.

 

He kissed him on the head and patted his back. “I promise sweetheart.” He forced himself to pull away and headed toward the car with Shane, his heart heavy having to leave the boy. He stopped next to Lori, “Please keep a close eye on him. He’s really scared right now. I know you don’t understand any of this but please, just treat him like you would treat Carl alright” he pleaded.

 

“He will be fine,” she said not bothering to look up from the carrots she was peeling.

 

Rick slid into the passenger seat and Shane saw how despondent he looked. Gripping his friend’s shoulder in with a reassuring gesture before starting the truck and taking off down the dusty country road. “He’ll be fine,” he tried to reassure his friend. “I know it’s hard to leave him like that but Lori will take care of him.” When Rick shot him an unsure look he frowned. “I know you don’t trust her man but she would never hurt a kid,” Shane insisted.

 

“But she doesn’t see Daryl as a kid,” he said softly. “I know she would never hurt Carl, she loves him but Daryl she doesn’t understand.”

 

“And you love him,” Shane added.

 

Rick stiffened, unsure how to answer that or if it was even a question. When the silence grew he finally spoke. “I have feelings for him,” he admitted out loud for the first time and it felt like a weight off his chest. “I wanted to take things to the next level but I never even got to talk to him about it before his injury. Now,” he looked out the window and sighed, “right now he needs me in a different capacity.”

 

“I know it has to be hard for you to see him like that but I have to say you are dealing with it better than I expected.”

 

“I didn’t at first,” he laughed. “I was shocked, to say the least, but when I saw him huddled on the floor in tears I guess instinct just kicked in and I gathered him up and cradled him. I just wanted him to be ok, to not be scared.” He clenched his hands into fists, “I know you saw some of the scars on him but you didn’t see half of it. Shane that kid was put through hell. He had scars that were old and some wounds that would be as recent as the quarry. Cigarette burns, lash marks, cuts, places that looked like there had been stitches that were not done by a professional and that’s just what’s visible. I can’t imagine what he’s been through that didn’t leave a physical scar.”

 

Shane cringed, his own father had been a hard-assed military man who believed that his son needed to follow orders as well as his soldiers and if he didn’t there were punishments. Those punishments ranged from running 5 miles in the heat to being punched in the gut depending on how drunk his old man was at the time but he’d never been left bleeding or scared from it.

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories,” he said when he saw the distant look in Shane’s eyes. Rick felt bad for making him think about his own father.

 

“No, I was just thinking what an asshole my old man was but he was nothing compared to what Daryl’s was. No wonder he’s so standoffish and untrusting.”

 

Rick couldn’t help but chuckle, “that’s the pot calling the kettle black isn’t it?”

 

“Shut up,” his tone was belied by the mirth on his face. “I’m not standoffish I’m.. I’m..”

 

“A dick?” Rick teased.

 

“Hey, you like me!” Shane insisted, glad to have the playful banter back with his friend. He’d been afraid he’d lost it when he thought Rick was dead, then when the Lori issue came up.

 

“Yeah, for some unknown reason I do kinda like having you around,” he smiled.

 

They started talking about old times and laughing at good memories and before they knew it they were pulling up to the small store in the neighboring town. Shane and Andrea had scoped it out a few days earlier and found it stocked to the hilt with most stuff, only the guns and knives had been cleared out. Working as a perfect team they quickly making sure the area was clear before each grabbing a cart and loading stuff up. Nearly an hour later both men were giddy with the haul they’d managed. “I can’t believe all this was still here!” Rick wiped the sweat from his brow.

 

“Don’t think anyone here thought about surviving, just escaping to a bigger more protected city,” Shane said as he dumped more camping supplies in the bed of the truck. “I want to show you something,” he motioned for Rick to follow him and he did without question.

 

   “Umm?” he was confused when they stopped in the baby department.

 

   “You said you were having trouble getting Daryl to eat and drink and I was thinking since he’s ‘three’ maybe he’s not used to eating like we are. I’m wondering if it’s time to try something else.” He picked up a bottle and handed it to Rick and laughed when he saw the wheels starting to turn in his mind.

 

   “Yeah!” He slapped Shane’s shoulder and started throwing stuff in the cart.

 

 

   Lori sighed as she saw Daryl fidgeting out of the corner of her eye for the twentieth time since Shane and Rick had left. “What is it now Daryl?”

 

   He chewed on his thumb nervously and shrugged. He missed Rick but he didn’t want to play with Sophia and Carl because Sophia’s dad just yelled at him and hurt his arm. He didn’t want to be alone in his tent ‘cause he was scared so he went to Lori.

 

   “Stop staring at me it’s just creepy,” she snapped. “Sit down right there,” she pointed to a spot next to the stack of vegetables she was peeling and chopping. As soon as he sat down she yanked his thumb away from his mouth, put a knife in his hand and placed a cutting board in front of him. “Chop that stuff up.”

 

   He looked at the big knife with wide eyes, “But I not apose’ ta have dis.”

 

   “Oh please, you can cut the act with me. I don’t believe for a second that you have some sort of head injury. I know what you’re playing at Daryl and it makes me sick!” She leaned closer to the boy, her face a mask of disgust, “You’ve had your eyes on Rick since the day he came to camp and the only way you could get his attention is to act like this. It’s sick Daryl Dixon, you’re sick and I’m not going to cater to you like everyone else is!”

 

   Daryl blinked trying to stop the tears that were welling in his eyes and took some deep breaths to calm himself down. His Pa had told him he was sick too just ‘fore he hit him. He didn’t know why he was sick. What was wrong with him? He put a potato on the board and carefully pushed down with the knife. It took several tries but he finally found a way that worked and started cutting, hoping if he did a good job he could make Lori like him.

 

Lori had gone to check on Carl and then to the house to borrow a strainer so she could wash the veggies for the soup she was making. By the time she made it back to where she left Daryl he’d chopped all the veggies she had in the pile even ones she hadn’t peeled yet. “No!”

 

Daryl jumped when Lori startled him and cut his hand with the knife. The sting itself didn’t bother him but when he saw the blood dripping down his hand he couldn’t stop the tears.

 

“Shit!” She grabbed a cloth she’d been using to wipe the dirt from her hands and wrapped it around his cut tying it tightly. “Ok, shhh, it’s just a cut, you’ll be fine,” she tried to calm him down. If he kept crying someone would hear him and come to see what was going on. She was hoping for a way to keep Rick from finding out she’d left him alone with a knife but if someone saw there would be no way to keep the secret. She was about to tell him to come to her tent so she could clean his hand when she noticed the wet spot on the front of his pants. “Did you just wet yourself?” she asked incredulously.

 

Daryl felt his face go hot as he blushed from head to toe, embarrassed and ashamed for having had an accident. He’d been having them a lot but Rick didn’t get mad at him over it even after he tried to hide the first time because of it. He was trying to stop the tears because he knew punishment was worse when you cried but he couldn’t seem to stop sniffling even as Lori dragged him through the field and into the barn.

 

She had stopped by Rick’s tent and grabbed a clean pair of pants for Daryl before hauling him up to the barn hoping that no one would hear him crying from there. She went to undo his pants, her mind on getting him changed so she could calm him down because Rick would be back any minute but she didn’t expect the reaction it caused.

 

Daryl grabbed at her arm and pushed at it trying to get her away. He knew she was angry and when he got stripped it meant a spankin’ or worse. “No, no spankin’! I be good I swe’rs!” he whimpered and scurried back slamming against the inside wall of the barn.

 

She managed to get the pants undone and down over his hips when he latched on to her arm and clawed her. Her reaction wasn’t the best, to say the least because she lashed out and spanked him hard on his bare bottom several times leaving a red hand print. It worked because after a squeak he went silent, sliding down the wall to the ground pulling his knees to his chest and hugging them.

 

“What the hell is going on here?” Rick demanded as he and Shane entered the barn. They had just pulled up as Maggie and Glenn rode up on their horses from the opposite direction and Carl, Andrea and Dale were back from fixing the well. Dale said he saw Lori and Daryl headed to the barn a few minutes before so Rick went to retrieve them. He was excited to show Daryl the stuff he’d gotten but also to make sure he was ok. He didn’t know what he expected to see when he walked in but this was not even in the realm of what he thought would have been possible.

 

Shane watched as Rick rushed to Daryl and knelt beside him trying to calm him. He shot Lori a harsh look, “What the hell?”

 

“It wasn’t what it looked like,” she protested. “He pissed on himself and I was trying to change him when he clawed my arm.” She held out her arm which had a few red scratch marks on it as proof. Daryl kept his nails bitten down to the quick so he didn’t have much to scratch her with.

 

“So you hit him?” Shane was floored. “Is that what you did to Carl when he was little?”

 

“What? No! Of course not! Carl was a baby. Daryl is a grown man,” she protested, not believing that Shane would even ask a thing like that.

 

“Get out,” Rick growled over his shoulder at Lori. “We will discuss this later,” he said pointedly.

 

Lori wanted to argue but she knew there would be no getting through to him right now so she would pick her battles. Maybe she could make him understand when he was calmer. Sighing in defeat she turned and walked out of the barn shooting one last look at Daryl.

 

Rick coaxed Daryl up to his feet, blocking him from Shane’s view while he pulled his jeans up. When Daryl tried to squirm away he noticed that the boy was wet. “Shhh it’s ok little one, it’s only an accident.”

 

Daryl clung to Rick, his hands fisting in the back of the man’s shirt as he sobbed against his shoulder. He tensed when he felt another hand on his back but he never let go of Rick.

 

Shane hated hearing the broken sobs coming from Daryl and stepped over to see if there was anything he could do or if Rick just wanted him to go but when he saw the look on his best friends face he knew he needed to stay and calm them both down. He put one hand on Daryl’s back and one on Rick’s arm, “Alright, both of you take a deep breath and calm down. Rick’s back now and everything is going to be just fine,” he nodded. He kept encouraging them both, swaying them from side to side until Daryl’s tears dried up and he was only left with occasionally hiccupped gasps and Rick’s eyes had gone from death to all to someone is gonna pay.

 

“Let’s get you back to camp so I can get you cleaned up,” Rick kissed the top of Daryl’s head and rubbed his back soothingly.

 

“N..n..oo,” Daryl whined and tried to burrow into Rick.

 

“No one is going to hurt you, buddy,” Shane tried to assure him. “Rick won’t let them and neither will I.”

 

Rick couldn’t help but smile at his friend, his brother as he gave him a thankful look. “It’s ok sweetheart,” he cooed and lifted the boy’s head from his shoulder. Daryl’s eyes were red and puffy from crying and his face was wet with tears. “We got some stuff for you. Let go to the tent so we can see your new stuff!” He tried to get him to smile but instead he watched Daryl’s trembling hand reach out for a pair of jeans that were draped over one of the hay bales and Rick realized the problem. “We will take care of that when we get to camp sweetheart that way I can get you cleaned up so you don’t get a rash.”

 

“But dey’ll see,” he whispered, blushing as he buried his head against Rick’s chest.

 

“No, they won’t,” he whispered back and picked the boy up smiling when Daryl wrapped his legs around his waist on instinct before laying his head against the crook of his neck. Daryl was much too light from malnourishment and he didn’t have a lot of muscle mass other than his arms. Rick, on the other hand, had always been physically fit and took pride in keeping a certain physique so he had a lot of muscle on him, though like everyone else these days he was still pretty lean. Even with the muscle he had though he should have had more trouble lifting and carrying a full grown man.

 

Shane grabbed the jeans off the hay and then opened the door for them. They kept up an easy banter to help keep Daryl settled and made it back to their tent without interruption thanks to Shane waving off a worried Carol and Dale. “I’ll get some water so you can clean him up,” Shane said before heading off toward the water pump.


	5. Chapter 5

 

Rick laid Daryl down on the cot, surprised that he didn’t have to fight to lay him down, Daryl only whimpered and sniffled. He got the shoes, socks and wet pants off of him quickly and turned him over a little so he could see the red hand print on his bottom. It was fading and wouldn’t bruise but the sight of it still made Rick angry. He jumped when Shane unzipped the tent and stepped inside with the pan of water.

 

“Sorry, should have knocked,” he said sheepishly as he sat the pan down on a makeshift table.

 

“It’s alright, just,” he covered Daryl’s middle with a sheet so he wasn’t exposed, “on edge.”

 

Shane was about to excuse himself to give the two men some privacy but he stopped in his tracks when Rick took Daryl’s shirt off. Rick hadn’t been exaggerating when he said the boy had been through hell.

 

“Where did this come from?” Rick growled as he looked at the hand shaped bruise around Daryl’s bicep.

 

Daryl’s eyes filled with tears again at the anger in Rick’s voice. With everything else that had happened he’d forgotten about what happened with Sophia’s Papa. “I so’ry, didn’ mean to be bad ‘gain. Was jus’ playin’ wif ‘Fia and Carl. Din’ know I not apose too.” He saw the anger radiating off of Rick and quickly sat up touching Rick’s face. “P’ease no be mad at me Wick,” he cried. He took the man’s hand and put it to his own face now. “I know ya’ have ta hit me but p’ease, no be mad. I can be good boy,” he nodded his head franticly. He loved Rick and he didn’t want to be sent back to his Pa for being bad.

 

“Daryl, stop,” Rick said carefully, taking the boys hands into his own. “I’m not mad at you and you aren’t bad sweetheart, the person who did this to you is the one who is bad.”

 

Daryl clinched his eyes shut and fisted his hands in his hair pulling it painfully. He was so confused! He knew something was wrong with him, always had been but now he felt it more than ever. Sophia’s dad had called him sick and Lori also, so is he sick? Is he going to make other people sick? His head and his tummy hurt and he just wanted everything to stop.

 

“Hey, hey,” Rick grabbed Daryl’s wrists trying to stop him from pulling his hair. Once he managed to free the tortured follicles from his fingers Daryl started smack himself. “Enough Daryl, you are going to hurt yourself. Shane, help me hold his arms”

 

Shane took Rick’s spot next to Daryl’s upper body and gripped the boy’s wrists, holding them to his chest. “Calm down buddy, shhhh. Take some deep breaths for me. Can you do that?”

 

“Rick what’s going on?” Dale asked from outside the tent.

 

“Give us some time! Daryl is just upset,” he said not wanting anyone else inside the small space to upset him more. He made quick work of cleaning Daryl’s bottom half, putting an adult diaper on him and slipping his clean jeans on. Turning around he sat on the cot and lifted Daryl into his lap cradling him like a small child. He rocked him and gently patted his hip soothingly as he spoke to Shane. “In my bag behind you is one of the bottles and a can of the supplement.”

 

“Yeah,” Shane nodded knowing what Rick wanted. He quickly used some water to rinse the bottle before pouring the can of ensure in it and giving it a quick shake before handing it to Rick.

 

Rick gave Shane a look of ‘I hope this is the right thing to do,’ before slipping the nipple of the bottle into the struggling boy’s mouth. Daryl’s arms and legs flailed for a moment more before he gave an experimental suck at the bottle. Both men took a deep breath, holding it until Daryl began suckling and curled against Rick’s chest, only then did they breathe a sigh of relief. “What’s that on his hand?” noticing the rag tied around it for the first time.

 

Shane chuckled humorlessly, “after everything else I’m halfway afraid to look.” He reached up and gently took Daryl’s hand pausing to see if the boy was going to react. When he was sure Daryl wasn’t going to get upset again he untied the rag. “Jesus,” he hissed. The cut was still sluggishly bleeding, red and irritated looking. Shane carefully opened Daryl’s hand and the boy whimpered and tried to pull his hand away.

 

“Shhh,” Rick soothed and kissed his head. They were all sweating because they had the tent completely sealed up to give Daryl some privacy. “I’m going to set you up a second little one so I can slip a shirt on you. We need to open the door and windows to get some air in here because it’s hot.

 

Daryl didn’t argue or struggle because he just wanted Rick to keep holding him. It was over quickly and he had to admit that the breeze felt good on his overheated skin. He tried not to cry as Shane put the stinging stuff on his hand but he did whimper a couple times. Once he was finished and let Daryl’s hand go he tucked it in close to Rick’s chest and went back to drinking his bottle. His eyes were getting heavy, worn out from his eventful day and it wasn’t long before they slid closed, the bottle slipped from his slack lips.

 

Maggie and Beth strolled down to the camp to talk to Shane and Rick about starting Beth on gun training and Maggie really wanted to check on Daryl. She knew it would be a rough day for him with Rick being gone and she worried about how he would be. Glenn had been good natured about her constant worrying though he teased her about it a bit. She smiled at ‘walker bait’ as she had taken to calling him then turned to Shane. “Hey, daddy wanted to know if you would start teachin’ Beth to shoot?”

 

“He what?” he asked in disbelief.

 

The sisters both laughed at his reaction. “Daddy finally realized that it would be safer if I at least knew how to use a gun,” Beth explained.

 

“I don’t see him ever letting her have a reason to use it but I’m glad he finally agreed,” Maggie added.

 

“Well then,” Shane stood from his chair, “let’s go find one that’s the right weight for you.”

 

“Before you do,” Rick interrupted, stepping out of the tent. “Beth would you mind taking Carl and Sophia into the RV for a few minutes while I have a talk with some of the adults?”

 

“Of course,” she smiled and gathered up both kids before heading into the camper.

 

“Would you mind sitting with Daryl?” he asked Maggie. “I will be right here in camp but I don’t want to wake him.”

 

“I’d love to watch him,” she smiled stepping around Rick and into the tent where Daryl was curled up on his side asleep.

 

“He’s had a rough day and there are some issues I need to deal with. He should sleep but if he wakes up and is scared just... “

 

She put her hand on his arm, “Rick take a breath, its ok, I promise if he needs anything I will call for you. I’m assuming his day didn’t go as well as you’d hoped?”

 

“No,” he practically growled. “I’m going to find out exactly what happened while he’s resting,” he stepped out of the tent. Maggie sat down in a chair that was next to the cot and watched the sleeping boy making sure he was comfortable.

 

Rick walked over to where Lori was talking with Shane. “I want to know what happened today with Daryl, Lori.” He held up his hand to stop her from speaking just yet. “I want the truth because I can promise you that I will be asking him when he wakes up and if he tells me something different I will know who’s lying to me,” he warned.

 

She looked to Shane like she expected him to tell Rick not to speak to her that way but he stayed silent. “He cut his hand and while I was trying to clean it up he pissed himself,” she tried to gloss over the facts as quick as she could.

 

Rick took a deep breath trying to hold off any reaction until he got the truth but he was struggling with it. “He had an accident. How did that lead to what happened in the barn?”

 

“He started bawling like an idio..”she stopped herself when she saw the look on Rick’s face. “He was crying and when I tried to take his pants off he went nuts. I was afraid someone would hear him so I grabbed a pair of his pants and took him to the barn to change him. The last thing we need is for him to bring a herd of walkers down on us.”

 

His jaw was clinched so tight it was aching but he didn’t want to start yelling. “So you took him to the barn to spank him?”

 

“What?” She pretended to be disinterested as she folded some clothes.

 

“When we came to the barn you were spanking him,” Rick growled.

 

“He was clawing at me!”

 

“Let me get this straight,” Shane interjected, “You took him to the barn, tried to take his pants off of him and then spanked him on his bare ass? All of that yet you still say he’s faking being a kid?”

 

“I, wha, but,” She stammered.

 

Rick almost laughed at how quickly she paled. “I really hope you didn’t do this to try and push him away from me Lori because it won’t work. All you are accomplishing is showing how desperate you are by attacking a person with a traumatic brain injury.” He ran his hands over his face in frustration, “How did he cut his hand?”

 

“I don’t know,” she hedged, “I couldn’t be expected to watch him every second.”

 

“What? You left him alone?” Rick’s voice rose an octave.

 

“What the hell were you thinking Lori?” Shane asked. He couldn’t believe the woman he loved so much would do something like that to someone like Daryl.

 

“Oh come on Shane you aren’t buying his act too are you?” She knew Rick was but couldn’t anyone else see what was going on? “He’s just trying to get attention and find a way to catch Rick’s eye. Anyone could see how bad Daryl wants him and he knows he would never have a chance so he concocted this stupid ploy and gullible Rick fell for it. You hold him, rock him, hell you even help him change clothes!” She looked at Rick with one hand on her hip and her eyebrow arched.

 

“How can you say that Lori? Do you really think Daryl Dixon would want me doing those things for him if he weren’t ‘younger’? He’s too independent and shy to let anyone touch him much less like that! Not everyone wants attention like you do and not everyone is willing to lie to get it!”

 

“Yeah? Then why was he able to chop all the vegetables for the stew while I was up at the house getting a strainer?” she snapped. Her eyes grew wide when she realized what she’s said.

 

“You gave him a knife and left him alone?” Rick growled. “You’re lucky that cut on his hand was all that happened!” He leaned down right into her face, “I know how he felt about me and you’re wrong. He had every chance in the world with me because I feel the same about him. He certainly doesn’t have to pretend to be sick to get my attention, hell it’s stopping us from being together as a couple not pulling us closer,” his voice was low and confident as he glared at her. He pointed his finger at her angrily, “you keep your mouth shut when you’re around him unless you can learn to control it and you will never lay a hand on him again. Am I clear?”

 

“Crystal,” she nodded, her lowered in shame. Maybe she had gone too far? She didn’t want him to get hurt really just to be exposed for his lies.

 

Rick stormed off toward and Carol’s tent area and Shane hurried to follow so he could back his friend up if Ed tried something stupid. Carol stood when Rick came over but her smile faded quickly when she saw his face. “Is something wrong” she asked?

 

He ignored Carol and walked up on Ed, who didn’t move from his chair. “I don’t know what happened today and I don’t care. There is no excuse for you to leave bruises on him or anyone else!”

 

“Bruises on who?” Carol asked, worried that Ed had hurt Carl in some way.

 

“Then keep that sick asshole away from my daughter! There is no tellin’ what that freak might try to do to her!” Ed warned Rick.

 

“He’s a kid mentally, I know that’s hard for you to get because you’re a fucking idiot,” Rick hissed, “but he has the memories of a three year old! I know sick bastards like you have evil on your minds all the time but he doesn’t! I’ll be sure he’s nowhere near you again but if you lay a hand on him Ed you will regret it.”

 

Rick turned on his heel and stormed off back to his boy. When he stepped in the tent Maggie was running her fingers through Daryl’s hair and he was looking up at her with still sleepy eyes. “Hey there sweetheart,” he smiled. His heart nearly pounded out of his chest when Daryl smiled back at him. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Kay,” his voice was scratchy from all the crying earlier.

 

Maggie leaned down and kissed him on the head, “I’m gonna go see Glenn. I’ll come back and see you before I go back to the house ok?” He nodded at her and smiled as she left. He looked at Rick and held his arms up.

 

Rick looked at him questioningly, “You want me to hold you?” As soon as Daryl nodded Rick sat down and pulled him into his lap. The boy was sweating, the sweltering Georgia heat bearing down on them was tough on a good day but being inside the tent made it even more oppressive. “We need to talk about what happened to day buddy.”

 

Daryl curled deeper into a ball but didn’t make a sound. He knew this was coming, he’d been bad today a lot and Rick was very angry earlier. He knew that the man had promised not to hit him but he also knew there would be punishment. He felt his chin being lifted so that he was looking into Rick’s blue eyes and he couldn’t help the shiver that ran through him. “I so’ry for bein bad taday.”

 

“You weren’t bad Daryl,” he assured the boy, “bad things happened to you but you weren’t bad.”

 

“But I had a ac’ident and I got in tw’uble wif ‘Fia’s papa for bein’ sick,” he tried to explain, not understanding why Rick wasn’t punishing him. He shifted on Rick’s lap so he could look at him better and heard the diaper crinkle under his clothes which drew his attention to the feeling of its bulkiness. He wasn’t sure how he felt about this.

 

Rick tensed waiting for a meltdown when Daryl realized he had put a diaper on him. Ideally he would’ve liked to have talked to him about it first and explain what was happening but it just didn’t work out that way. “It will help with the accidents sweetheart,” he explained gently. “I wanted to talk to you about trying them and the bottle but you were so upset I didn’t get a chance to.” He repositioned Daryl so that he was cradling him. I still expect you to try and eat food ok but I know that you’re having a hard time with it so Shane and I found you a special drink to help keep you healthy. I have to keep my boy healthy,” he smiled and tickled his tummy like he used to do Carl when he was little.

 

Daryl giggled and grabbed Rick’s hand to stop the tickle attack. “Y..yer boy?” he asked once he’d caught his breath.

 

He hadn’t realized he’d said it but he meant it. “Yeah, I would like it if you were my boy,” he nodded. It wasn’t the exact way he’d pictured having Daryl in his life but at least he was still in his life. Carl liked him and hopefully they would become close too.

 

“I’d wike dat too,” he said softly, blushing.

 

“Um knock knock,” Shane said outside the tent. He felt like an idiot saying it but you couldn’t very well knock on a cloth tent and he didn’t want to startle Daryl if he was awake.

 

Rick laughed which made Daryl laugh as well. “Come in,” the older man called.

 

“Hey, just wanted to check on you two and see if little man here was feeling better,” he sat down in the chair next to the cot the two of them were on.

 

“What about it?” Rick asked Daryl. “Can you talk to Shane?” he encouraged. He needed Daryl to be comfortable with at least some of the others just in case something happened.

 

Daryl played with Rick’s hand that had been resting on his belly, uncomfortable talking to other people. “I’m kay,” he told him softly.

 

“Yeah?” Shane asked, smiling at him. “How about you and Rick come outside and set with me where it’s a little cooler?”

 

“I think that might be a good idea,” Rick nodded. “We are gonna roast in here.”

 

Daryl didn’t want to stop cuddling but he wanted to do what Rick wanted so he was about to get off his lap when he was swept up on Rick’s hip instead. He rested his head against the sheriff’s as they walked outside to a group of chairs that were positioned in the center of camp. When Rick sat down he made sure Daryl was still in his lap. Knowing he could still cuddle with Rick combined with the breeze blowing across his heated skin soothed him and he rested lazily against Rick’s shoulder as he listened to he and Shane talk about all the stuff they’d found on the run.


	6. Chapter 6

 

Daryl was sitting at camp in a chair while Rick was at the house talking to Hershel. Glenn had agreed to watch him and was sitting nearby working on one of the lantern’s that had gotten broken from the shockwave of the explosion at the CDC. He looked over to Daryl who was sitting quietly and not moving a muscle. “You ok buddy?”

 

Daryl nodded, “I’m kay.”

 

He smiled at that. It had taken him a little bit to adjust to the fact that Daryl really did have the mind of a child but the more he saw him with Rick and Maggie the more he realized just how precious the boy was. Daryl was his friend and he would be Uncle Glenn to little Daryl happily. If this was how the ‘real’ little Daryl was and he was abused as bad as he had been then it made the Dixons even bigger monsters in his eyes. “Want to come help me?”

 

Daryl chewed at his bottom lip like he always did when he was thinking before shaking his head no. “I might bwake it.”

 

“It’s already broken so you can’t hurt it,” he smiled. “Come on, you can help.”

 

Daryl got out of his chair and walked over to Glenn cautiously. He had been lured into tricks like this before and got spankings. He sat down where Glenn told him too and watched as he explained what he thought was wrong with the lantern. Daryl didn’t have any idea what any of the colored stuff was inside or the green square with the silver dots but Glenn said it ran off of a big battery so it was safe to keep inside the tents without worrying about fire.

 

“Here you hold the flashlight for me and point it right here,” he moved Daryl’s hand so that the light was where he needed it. He took a small screwdriver and started putting the wires back on the circuit board that he had replaced. “Ok now we put this piece here,” he explained as he put next piece in that held the battery. They got the bottom back together and Glenn put the battery in. “Ok, you flip it on and let’s see if we did it!”

 

Daryl turned the button but nothing happens. When he saw Glenn’s face he busted out with laughter. “It didn work.”

 

Glenn arched his brow playfully, “are you sure? Maybe it’s just a really dim light?”

 

“No silly is still b’oke,” Daryl explained.

 

“Ok let’s try again.” He took it all apart while Daryl dutifully held the light where he was supposed to but after several more failed attempts it still wasn’t working. Glenn glared at the light like it had offended his family’s honor. “Why won’t you work you stupid…” he trailed off when he noticed Daryl looking at him. “I guess we just can’t fix it bud.”

 

“T’y one more time?” It was never good to give up.

 

“Ok, one more time,” he agreed, unable to say no to Daryl. As he was putting the circuit board back in he felt Daryl tug on his sleeve. “Need something buddy?”

 

He chewed on his thumb, which is what he did when he was really nervous. “I..Is dat t‘ing a’posed to be wike dat one?”

 

Glenn looked to where Daryl was pointing and sure enough, there was a blue wire that wasn’t connected to the circuit board. He carefully screwed it back on, “Good catch. Now maybe it will work.” He put the rest of it back together completely this time before sitting it down in front of Daryl. “Turn it on and see if we did it this time.”

 

Daryl pushed the switch hesitantly and the light flickered on. He couldn’t hide his smile at their success. “It wo’ks!”

 

“Good job!” Glenn praised him and mussed his hair.

 

“What are we so excited about,” Rick asked as he stepped up behind them.

 

“Daryl fixed the lantern,” Glenn told him.

 

Rick tugged the boy’s thumb free from his mouth half expecting to see blood he was chewing on it so hard. “He did?” He smiled at him and kissed the top of his head.

 

Daryl shook his head as he leaned into Rick’s touch. “Gwenn fix it, I jus hold da light.”

 

“What? You’re the one who showed me what to do buddy! This was all you,” he handed the lantern to Daryl.

 

He looked at Glenn questioningly, “W’at I a’posed to do wif it?”

 

The younger man smiled, “Well since it gets pretty dark out here at night I thought maybe you could use it in case you needed to get up while Rick was on watch or something.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at the confused look on Daryl’s face. “It’s yours, buddy.”

 

Daryl looked at Glenn then to Rick unsure of what to do. Rick put his hand on his shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze of support. “Its ok sweetheart you can have it,” he smiled at the boy.

 

“F..fank you,” he said still in awe of his gift.

 

“Wanna go put it by the bed?” Rick asked.

 

Daryl nodded and got to his feet holding the lantern carefully with both hands as he walked to the tent. He sat it on their makeshift table making sure it was back away from the edge so it wouldn’t fall. He turned around and saw Rick watching him. “Is safe to use in da tent.”

 

“Yeah?” He ran his hand through Daryl’s hair and pulled him into his lap. “I’m proud of you.”

 

“Why?” he frowned half expecting a trick of some sort.

 

“You have been a very good boy. You listen to what you’re told, you don’t leave my sight or whoever is watching you and,” he tickled him causing the boy to squeal, “You are letting me take care of you without fighting anymore.” They’d had a little struggle over diapers but Daryl finally relented because no one could tell if he had an accident in the diaper and he wasn’t as embarrassed.

 

Daryl cuddled into Rick and played with the buttons on his shirt. “Wike you takin care of me,” he said shyly.

 

He thought his heart was going to pound out of his chest. Daryl was happy! “That’s good because I like taking care of you, sweetheart.”

 

“Hey,” Maggie smiled peeking into the tent. “Was wondering if you and Daryl would like to go for that ride now. I need to go check on the cows on the other side of the farm and thought it would be a good time.”

 

“Can we?” he asked excitedly turning his big blue eyes on Rick full force.

 

“I think we can do that since you’ve been so good,” he said putting the boy on his feet.

 

They made their way to the stable and Rick felt Daryl grip his hand tightly at the first sight of the horses. “Big,” was all he said.

 

Maggie pulled one of the brown mares out of a stall and walked it to the center of the stable. Once she tied the reins off she saddled the horse then motioned for Daryl and Rick to come closer. “This is Aurora,” she guided Daryl’s hand to pet the mare’s neck. “She’s a very kind, gentle horse and I think you two might get to be good friends.”

 

“Hi ‘rora,” he said softly grinning when the horse whinnied and bobbed its head.

 

They all got settled on their horses, Maggie holding the reins to Aurora so Daryl didn’t have to try to guide her as she and Rick were on either side of him. He was nervous at first gripping on to the saddle horn with all his strength but it didn’t take long for him to get the feel of riding and allowed his body to sway with the movement of the animal. He was so focused on the horse beneath him that the sound of the cow mooing startled him and he snapped his head in the direction of the noise.

 

Rick laughed when the cow mooed and Daryl’s head spun around. “Ok little one?”

 

“Cow!” he pointed to the Jersey milk cow in the field next to them.

 

Rick pointed to his right, way back in the field, “lots of cows!”

 

They continued their ride for about thirty minutes and Rick’s backside was starting to feel the ache so he was trying to come up with an excuse to get Daryl off the horse before they both got saddle sore. He heard Daryl’s stomach growl and chuckled. “Hungry?”

 

“Lil bit.”

 

“Let’s get you some food then and let the horses rest a while alright?”

 

“Kay,” he nodded as they made their way back. Rick helped him down off the horse and smiled when the boy kissed the horse on the nose. “Tank you for lettin’ me wide ‘rora.”

 

Rick took the saddles of both their horses and put them away while Maggie led each horse to their stalls. They made sure they had water and food before heading back toward the camp. “Let’s get you some food now,” he mussed Daryl’s hair.

 

He shook his head, “no eat, too hot, makes mah tummy feel bad.”

 

“How about a bottle?” Rick tried but got the same no. “What if I hold you while you take it?” he offered hoping it would help.

 

He really wanted to be held by Rick, he loved it and never wanted to leave his side but he didn’t want to eat anything even a bottle. Pondering the decision he finally nodded his consent. “Kay but only a little.”

 

They went into the tent and Rick scooped the proper amount of supplement into the bottle and added water before screwing the nipple on and shaking it well. “You want to set in the tent or out in the breeze sweetheart?”

 

He chewed on his lip for a moment pondering the question like it was the biggest decision in his life. “Bweeze?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

 

“Ok,” he smiled and took the boy’s hand leading him out of the tent. He sat down in one of the chairs and pulled Daryl into his lap tickling him before handing him the bottle.

 

Carl sees his dad sit down with Daryl and wonders over slowly, still unsure of the whole situation and where he is supposed to fit into the whole thing. He liked Daryl a lot, looked up to him in fact but it was awkward to see him like this.

 

Rick watched as Carl slowly approached and sat down beside them. “Hey little man,” he smiled. “How did training go with Shane today?”

 

“It went great,” he said excitedly. “I shot every target just like Shane said to and I even hit one he didn’t think I could hit!”

 

“Yeah? What did he say about that?” he asked trying to keep up the same level of excitement as his son. He hated that Carl had to even learn about guns at his age instead of playing video games and riding bikes but he knew it was for the best.

 

“He didn’t believe it! He said someone else did it for me,” he laughed and patted the gun holstered against his leg.

 

“Whas dat?” Daryl asked, his bottle forgotten much to Rick’s dismay.

 

“It’s my gun,” Carl beamed proudly, patting the holstered weapon again.

 

“Gun? Wut it for?” the boy asked sounding completely intrigued.

 

“To protect people and the camp,” he explained proudly.

 

He looked up at Rick, “I has a gun?”

 

“No,” he shook his head.

 

“Yeah, they aren’t for babies,” Carl told him, leaning back in his chair with his chest puffed out.

 

Daryl pouted, “I not a baby.”

 

“Of course, you are,” Carl told him thinking he was saying the right thing because his dad had told him that Daryl really believed he was little. “See you have a bottle and stuff.”

 

Rick watched as Daryl’s bottom lip jutted out as he looked down at the bottle in his hand and pulled his arm back to throw it. Rick grabbed the bottle just before he launched it. “Uh uh, buddy. We don’t throw things just because we are upset.” He turned the struggling boy in his arms so that he was cradled against him. “There is nothing wrong with being a baby, little one.”

 

“Wanna gun,” his reply was muffled against Rick’s chest.

 

“Not gonna happen, buddy,” Rick shook his head and rocked him.

 

“Not fair” he whined.

 

“I’m sorry.” Rick couldn’t hide his smile at how petulant Daryl sounded. He’d had this conversation several times with Carl and it hadn’t been that long ago.

 

Carl looked very proud of himself for being the biggest kid for once. He’d never had a little brother before and he kinda liked this big brother gig. He looked over at his dad trying to calm Daryl down and decided to give them some space. He walked over to them and kissed Daryl on the head before walking off.

 

“Where are you going?” Rick asked him, stunned at the kiss but happy.

 

“To do big brother stuff,” he smiled and went on his way.

 

Rick shook his head and laughed before turning back to the task of trying to get some sort of nourishment in Daryl.


	7. Chapter 7

 

It was well before dawn, the sun not even lighting the sky yet when Rick made his way out of their tent and over to the RV. He climbed up the ladder and sat down on the edge to talk to Shane. “Would you care to watch Daryl for a couple hours this morning?”

 

“No brother, don’t mind at all. What’s up?”

 

“Just want to take Carl out for a while and spend some time with him. He seems to be takin this Daryl thing pretty well but I haven’t really had a chance to talk to him about it. I just want to make sure he understands that I’m not trying to replace him or anything.”

 

Shane put his hand on Rick’s shoulder, “He’d never think that man but I think it’s great you want to spend time with him. I’d like to spend some time with Daryl too he’s kinda growing on me.”

 

“I’ve noticed,” Rick smirked.

 

“What?” he asked with a hint of defensiveness.

 

“Nothing, I just appreciate you taking this seriously and trying to help make him happy. Not everyone else seems to share our sentiment.”

 

“I really didn’t give him a fair shake before, I just judged him based on how Merle was and that wasn’t fair. With everything going on I was leery of everyone because I wanted to keep Lori and Carl safe and when Daryl and Merle approached I really felt like they were planning something but Daryl saw Sophia and Carl and took off into the woods. Merle just kept talkin and sayin how they were looking for a group to run with because there was safety in numbers and how he was ex-military and could help protect everyone. We agreed to let them stay the night anyway and about five hours later we hear this noise at the edge of camp and we all jump up in time to see Daryl break through the tree line with this big assed doe draped over his shoulders,” he laughed. “He was filthy, stinky and covered in blood from field dressing the deer but I be damned if he wasn’t the best sight I’d seen in a long time. I decided then that we needed to keep them around as long as we could but I still viewed Daryl as the same asshole Merle was. They were always together and he did everything Merle said no matter what it was and he’d rarely speak so I just assumed they were the same. I was wrong.”

 

“I can’t say that I would have felt any different if I had met them together like you did. Hell, I cuffed Merle to a metal pipe on a roof and considered shooting him.”

 

Shane laughed, “Still wish I could have seen that. Hell man we both know you would have seen Daryl for what he was right away, you did when you met him at the quarry. I made a mistake about him and I want to fix it even if I have to fix it with baby Daryl and not adult Daryl.”

 

“I wish other people,” meaning Lori, “would realize they misjudged him too.” He didn’t want to fight with her. She was Carl’s mother and he would protect her and help her all he could because he loved his son and he needed his mother but it didn’t mean he had to like it one damn bit.

 

“Ta hell with what she thinks man, he’s a good kid and if she can’t see that it’s her loss.”

 

He was shocked to hear Shane say that but his words had such a finality to them that it somehow gave Rick more confidence. They continued their conversation until the sun peaked over the horizon and Rick went to wake the boys.

 

He went to Daryl first and kissed his head, “Wake up sweet boy.”

 

Daryl blinked up sleepily and was partially aware that Rick was changing his diaper. By the time, he was cleaned up and dressed he was fully awake. “Mornin’,” he smiled sleepily at Rick.

 

“Good morning,” he smiled back as he sat down next to him. “I’m going to go out in the woods today with Carl and Uncle Shane is going to watch you. Is that ok?”

 

He wanted to go with Rick but he didn’t mind spending time with Shane. Shane was nice to him and made him laugh but he didn’t like Rick being away. “No, be gone long?”

 

Rick smiled and hugged him. “Not long bub. We will be back before ya know it.”

 

“Kay,” he nodded.

 

Daryl was sitting at the camp table waiting like Shane had told him to when the former deputy came out of the Rv with some paper and crayons sitting them down in front of Daryl as he took a seat beside him. “Whas dis?” he asked looking at the man.

 

Shane arched his brow, “Crayons and paper so you can draw a picture.”

 

“C’yans?”

 

“You’ve never had crayons?” Daryl shook his head as he examined the colorful sticks. “You draw pictures and color with them,” he explained. “Like this,” he picked up the brown and green crayons, drew a tree and colored it.

 

Daryl looked at the drawing with amazement. “Do a noter one!” he said excitedly.

 

“You draw one,” he encouraged.

 

He frowned, “Dunno hows.”

 

“You can do it, buddy. Like this,” he put a crayon in Daryl’s hand then covered the smaller hand with his own guiding the crayon over the paper and drawing a sun. “See, just draw whatever you like.”

 

“But..” he gnawed on his thumbnail. He wasn’t sure about this. What if he did it wrong and made Shane mad.

 

“You can’t do it wrong little one,” he assured him as if he heard what the kid was thinking. “Just have fun.”

 

With a little more encouragement he decided to try it and attempted a tree like Shane had drawn. He concentrated really hard on making the lines just right, his tongue sticking out the side of his mouth on a particularly hard curve. When he was sure he had it right he handed it to Shane nervously biting his lip while he waited for his reaction. He flinched when Shane ruffed his hair but relaxed when nothing else happened.

 

“Good job buddy! See I told you that you could do it. Now draw something else!” He felt bad when Daryl cowered away but knew better than to draw attention to it.

 

“Hey, Shane can I talk to you a second?” Hershel called from over by the truck.

 

“Be right there.” He turned to Daryl, “Stay right here and keep drawing for me alright? I will just be right there by the truck with Hershel,” he pointed to the older man. “If you need me just call for me.”

 

“Kay,” he said absently as he focused on his next picture.

 

Shane walked over to Hershel but kept looking toward the table where he’d left Daryl. “What can I do for you?”

 

“Just wanted to thank you for teaching Beth to shoot. In fact, it’s gone so well I was wondering if you would teach Patricia and Shawn also?”

 

“Yeah? I’d be glad to. We can go in the morning and start. Give me a couple hours until Rick gets back and send them to camp. I will find a couple of guns that are a good fit for them.”

 

Hershel looked over to Daryl who had his head laying on his left arm while he was drawing with his right.

“How is he doing?”

 

“He seems to be adjusting better but Rick is still having trouble getting him to eat and drink. He can occasionally get him to take a bottle but not near enough for a full grown man.”

 

The vet nods, “he was malnourished worse then I realized to begin with. I’m afraid if he doesn’t get some food in him it might cause some issues.”

 

“We found some nutritional supplement and have been using that hoping that it would help.”

 

“It does help a lot,” he nodded. “Maggie and Glenn have gone into town to pick up a couple of things they didn’t have at the other pharmacy and I told her to look for some special vitamins and a pill to help increase his appetite.”

 

“I didn’t know there was such a thing.” He stood straighter when he saw Lori and Andrea walk into camp but relaxed when they ignored Daryl and went on about their business talking to each other.

 

Hershel nodded, “there seems to be a pill for everything anymore.”

 

Daryl had laid his head on his arm as he pondered what else to draw and was still sitting that way when Lori and Andrea walked into camp. Lori started hanging up the washing and Andrea started sharpening a knife. The blond woman looked over at Daryl, whom she thought was sleeping, and shook her head. “What are we going to do now that Daryl isn’t bringing in food?”

 

“I don’t know,” Lori sighed. “I mean we have Hershel’s stuff as long as we are here but eventually that’s going to run out when winter sets in. Not only that but what about the trouble it’s going to cause if we have to move quickly or walkers attack. He’s useless and going to get someone killed,” she huffed. “I can’t believe he’s even still here. Hell, he wanted to shoot Jim in the head when he got bit because he was going to be a danger to the rest of us and now he’s the danger. Maybe someone needs to take care of him,” she said under her breath.

 

“That’s harsh and not the same thing at all. Jim was bit and Daryl knew what that meant and he was trying to protect the camp.” She shook her head and narrowed her eyes at Lori. The woman put her on edge and she couldn’t stand being around her. “Besides you have a kid yourself, are you saying you would shoot him in the head because he can’t pull his weight?”

 

“No! Of course not! Carl is a little boy, not some grown ass freak pretending to be a baby,” she hissed.

 

Daryl could feel the tears stinging his eyes at their harsh words. It was just like home when Pa and Merle would tell him his was worthless and useless before they hit him and locked him in the closet. He didn’t want to be bad again. What was wrong with him? He gasped as pain shot through his head so hard he was sure his skull had split in two.

 

“Freak? You cheated on your husband with his best friend and now that Rick is back you are trying to ditch Shane to get him back and you are calling Daryl a freak?”

 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she huffed as she put another shirt on the line. “My love life is my business not anyone else’s beside you can’t tell me you would rather have Merle and Daryl around than me.”

 

“Daryl, yeah I would. Merle was a bigoted asshole,” she acknowledged.

 

“Don’ talk ‘bout my brudder dat way,” Daryl growled.

 

Andrea jumped when she heard the boy speak then put his hands on his head and start whimpering. She’d thought he was asleep. “Daryl what’s wrong?” she asked as she walked around the table to stand next to him. Placing her hand on his back, “Daryl?”

 

Shane and Hershel both heard Daryl whining and ran over to him. Shane glared at Andrea and Lori but instantly went to the whimpering boy and knelt down beside him. “What’s wrong buddy?”

 

“Hurts,” he cried and squeezed at his head.

 

“Let’s get him in the tent out of the sun,” Hershel said. Shane scooped him up and practically ran to the tent with him placing him down on the cot and moving so Hershel could get to him. “Daryl, does anything hurt besides your head son?” He shook his head and curled into a ball as Shane placed a wet cloth on the back of his neck watching nervously as Hershel examined the kid. “Maybe he got too hot or maybe it's part of the injury,” he said as Shane looked at him with worried eyes. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a bottle of Ibuprofen and shook two of the pills out in his hand and handed them to Shane. “He will probably take them from you better than me.”

 

He took Hershel’s place on the edge of the cot, “Daryl can you do something for me?”

 

“Wut?” His tummy was sick and he felt dizzy.

 

“Can you take these for me?” He held the two pills out in his hand. “They will help your head feel better.”

 

“Wanna nap,” he said shaking his head and turning away from the man.

 

“I know you do and you can rest as soon as you take these ok? You want me to be able to tell Rick you were a good boy don’t you?” He knew it was a low blow but he was desperate.

 

Daryl pushed himself up into a sitting position and took one of the pills and put it in his mouth and swallowed it down with some water from the bottle Hershel had handed him. He coughed and spilled water down his chest and on his pants because he wasn’t used to swallowing pills.

 

Shane’s heart clenched a little at how pitiful Daryl looked coughing and spilling, even more, water on himself. He wasn’t used to drinking without help it seemed and it was probably the first time he’d ever swallowed a pill that he remembered anyway. Hell, he hadn’t even thought of it until it was too late, the kid could have choked. Taking the bottle of water and sitting it down on the table he before helped Daryl lay back down. “Try to sleep a little buddy. Want me to stay with you?”

 

“No,” he shook his head and rolled over so his back was facing the two men again. He just wanted them to go away.

 

Shane frowned but stood and kissed his head. “I’ll be right outside if you need anything ok?”

 

“Kay.”

 

The deputy and the vet went outside far enough away from the tent that they couldn’t be heard and talked softly about the boy’s state. “Is he ok?” Andrea asked, concerned and a little guilty that Daryl had heard what she and Lori had been talking about.

 

“Care to tell me what happened?” Shane asked as he eyed both women.

 

“I thought he was asleep and,” she sighed, “we were just talking about how we would deal with things if a walker attack happened or if we had to move quickly with him like he is. When I mentioned Merle he got upset.”

 

“You should have made sure he was asleep,” Lori scolded her.

 

“Me? You’re the one who called him useless and said someone needed to shoot him like he wanted to shoot Jim,” Andrea snapped unwilling to take crap from the other woman.

 

“What?” Shane growled. “What the hell is wrong with you two? What if you were the one going through this? Would you want someone to treat you like that? And you,” he turned on Lori, “You have a son yourself who didn’t know how to fight until a couple weeks ago. Do you think the rest of us should have treated him the way you are Daryl?”

 

She looked down at her hands, “No of course not.”

 

“You need to learn to watch your damn mouth,” he hissed and stomped off to calm down.

 

Daryl listened as the grownups moved away from the tent. Once he was sure they weren’t coming back he climbed out of bed and went over to the opposite side of the tent by Rick’s bed. Lowering himself to sit on the ground he reached under the cot and behind a bag where he knew Rick had hidden something. As soon as his fingers touched the cool metal he smiled and tugged it out of its hiding spot. The gun felt heavy in his hands as he turned it from side to side looking at it and gave it a loving pat like Carl had done to his. He could be a big boy and use the gun to protect the camp and his friends! He would show them all! He laid the gun in his lap and studied it closely trying to figure out how it worked tugging on things and pulling different parts. He gasped when part of it opened and then snapped back into place and wondered what it meant. He worked at it for quite a while but suddenly the stupid pills he took and the headache were making him so tired that his eyes were slipping shut against his will. He looked over to his bed then to Rick’s. He missed Rick and the pillows smelled like him so he crawled onto Rick’s bed and curled up, breathing in the scent. Slipping the gun under his shirt in case someone came to check on him so they wouldn’t find it he was soon fast asleep.

 

Shane checked on him a couple of times and just figured that he was in Rick’s bed because he missed him. He was so glad he was asleep and not hurting he didn’t bother to try and move him. He was sitting near the tent when Rick and Carl returned smiling happily. “You two look like you had a good time,” he smiled at them.

 

“We did,” Carl nodded, “after dad got through all the feeling crap.”

 

“Hey,” Rick chuckled indignantly at his son’s proclamation.

 

Carl grinned, “Please like you had to ask me if I was ok with Daryl?”

 

“Well I just, you know, we…”Rick sputtered and Carl and Shane both smirked. “Fine get out of here,” he shoved playfully at his son sending him off to do whatever before sitting down next to his friend. “How did things go here?”

 

“He’s been sleeping for a little over an hour.” He saw Rick tense and hurried to explain what had gone on.

 

He listened as Shane told him everything about a headache, Hershel giving Daryl meds, Lori and Andrea’s stupid bullshit and how he’d checked on the boy several times. “Thanks for taking care of things,” he said gratefully as he rubbed his temples trying to ward off a headache of his own. It felt good to know that he had someone he could depend on to help with Daryl even in a crisis. “I’m gonna go check on him.”

 

He stepped into the tent and smiled when he found Daryl curled up on his bed. “Hey sweetheart,” he said softly as he sat down beside him. Big blue eyes blinked up at him sleepily and he suddenly had a lap full of Daryl who was hugging him so tight it was hard to breathe. “Hey, I’m here baby. Shhh,” he soothed and repositioned the boy’s legs so they were both more comfortable. When he did something fell off the bed and hit his foot. He put his arm around Daryl and leaned forward groping around to pick up what he assumed was a bottle but when he touched the cold steel of a gun his breath caught but when he realized the gun was cocked, chambered and the safety off his heart stopped.

 

He gently sat the boy back on the bed and picked the gun up. “Daryl Dixon, why do you have a gun?” Daryl just shrugged and chewed on his thumb. “Answer me, young man,” he insisted, voice even but firm as he pulled the thumb free from Daryl’s mouth so he could speak.

 

Tears sprang to Daryl’s eyes and is lip started to quiver. He knew he was in trouble but he just wanted to help. “Wanna help potect ev’rybodies. No wanna be in da way no more,” he sniffled and hugged his knees to his chest hiding his face against his knees.

 

“Look at me,” he said firmly and wet eyes did just that. “You never touch a weapon of any kind without permission. Do you understand me?”

 

“But,” he started to argue.

 

“Do. You. Understand?” He punctuated each word letting the boy know he was not kidding.

 

“Yes,” he said softly flinching away violently when Rick raised his hand to touch him.

 

Daryl’s reaction made Rick sick to his stomach. The poor kid had been done so bad that he cringed away from touch at the first sign of trouble and he was only supposed to be three years old. Gathering him up, he sat him on his lap so that Daryl was facing him, straddling his legs. “We need to get a couple things straight right now. You never touch weapons. Got it?”

 

Daryl was too upset to speak so he nodded his head. He knew Rick was upset with him but he wasn’t hitting and he didn’t understand.

 

Rick accepted the head nod as an answer. “I don’t care what you heard Lori or Andrea say, you are not worthless or in the way.”

 

“You gon’a pank me now?”

 

He lifted Daryl’s chin with a gentle hand, “no matter how upset I am I will never hit you, sweetheart.”

 

Daryl wrapped around Rick like a spider monkey and held on for dear life happy that he wasn’t going to get punished. Once his tears had slowed down he looked up at the man who had been taking care of him. “Are you mad at me?”

 

“I’m not mad little one I’m just upset. You could have gotten hurt or even killed with that gun and I don’t know what I would do without you.”

 

He hadn’t thought about that when he took the gun. He would never do anything to make Rick sad. “I sor’wy Wick,” he told him then kissed his cheek. “No, be sad. I be good, pomise.”

 

“You are good, sweet boy you just made a mistake and now you know not to do it again.” He felt Daryl nod where his head was perched on his shoulder. “Shane said you got sick. Do you feel better?”

 

“Head till hurts a wittle.”

 

“You haven’t been sleeping much and you are not eating sweetheart. We have to change that because you are going to get even weaker and I don’t want that.” He repositions Daryl so that he is cradling him. “I know you’ve been having bad dreams. Want to talk about them?”

 

He thought about the nightmares he’d been having, how the old man that looked like Merle had hit him just like his pa had and then the old Merle riding on his motorcycle killin monsters that were trying to eat them. All of them at their camp were in his dreams and some that weren’t here now and he didn’t understand. It all felt so real but it couldn’t be because if he was three then Merle was still thirteen and he’d never met any of these people before now. He didn’t know how to explain it or if he should even try. What if the others thought it meant he was sicker? All he knew for sure was that his head really hurt when he thought about it for very long so he shook his head no in answer to Rick’s question.

 

“Alright then, let’s get you something to eat,” Rick said standing Daryl on his feet before getting to his own. He grabbed the gun off the bed and guided Daryl toward the door of their tent.

 

“Not hungwe.”

 

“You need to eat something.”

 

“Don’ wanna. Not hungwe.”

 

“You are going to eat something,” Rick said in a more stern voice. Daryl crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. He led the boy over to the table and sat him down, “stay here, I’ll be right back.” When he didn’t get a response he looked down at him with an arched brow, “Daryl?”

 

“Kay,” he whined.

 

Rick had to walk away quickly before he laughed out loud at the amount of petulance in the boy’s voice. It reminded him of the grown Daryl more than it should have. He stepped over to Shane and handed him the pistol. “Put this up for me?”

 

Shane frowned, “it’s your backup man. Don’t you want to keep it handy?”

 

“Found it in bed with Daryl, cocked, round in the chamber and safety off.”

 

“What?!”

 

“Yeah he said he could be useful and help protect the camp like a big boy,” he glared at Andrea and Lori as he said the words loud enough for them to hear.

 

“Rick, man I’m sorry. I had no idea that he had that. I should have watched him closer.” He was very upset with himself that this had happed, especially on his watch.

 

“Hey, it’s not your fault Shane. You didn’t know he was going to do it any more than I would have. He’s never done anything like that before.”

 

“Yeah but,” he argued.

 

“Stop,” Rick scolded. “It’s not your fault.” He patted Shane on the shoulder and went to get some food for Daryl. He didn’t bother fixing much because he knew it was going to be a struggle to get him to stomach anything.

 

Daryl jumped when the plate was set down in front of him and he blinked up at Rick.

 

“Hey, what’s got you so jumpy sweetheart,” he asked as he sat beside of him.

 

Daryl shrugged and poked at the dried meat with his finger. He didn’t want it but he knew he wasn’t going to get away with not eating anything and he didn’t feel like the fight right now. He picked up the jerky and nibbled at it.

 

Rick sighed, it was going to be a long night.


	8. Chapter 8

 

It had been three day’s since Daryl had gotten the really bad headache and he seemed to be getting worse in some ways. Now not only was he having nightmares in his sleep but also when he was awake. Rick went up to the house to speak with Hershel about what was happening. He looked over and saw Beth and Maggie were sitting on the porch snapping beans from the garden. “Why don’t you go set with Maggie while I go talk to Hershel for a minute?”

 

Daryl nodded and walked over to the two women. “Hey there darlin’.” Maggie’s smile faded when Daryl didn’t respond. “Still not talkin’?” she asked Rick.

 

He shook his head as he caught her eyes. They were all worried about Daryl because since the day of his headache when the nightmares increased he’d stopped speaking. He would nod or cry but he hadn’t even said a word to Rick. “Your dad inside?”

 

“Yeah, go on in,” she nodded. “Why don’t you come help me?” she asked Daryl. He sat where she’d pointed on the porch in front of her and she put a bowl of beans in his lap. Picking one up she showed him how to fix them. “You snap off both ends then you grab this string and pull it out like this. Think you can do that bubba?” He nodded and started to work.

 

“He’s getting worse,” Rick lowered himself into the chair with a sigh. “He’s still not talking, he despondent, depressed, he’s still not eating and I’m having to fight to even get him to drink anything now.”

 

“It’s like he is suffering from PTSD as well as the trauma,” the vet pondered. “Is he still having the nightmares?”

 

“Even when he’s awake now. He will just start whimpering or crying out of nowhere and when you look at him it’s like he’s not even there.”

 

“Maybe it’s memories coming back? Think about it, what he’s seen, what he’s been through all flooding back in a short time would have to horrifying but to the innocent mind of a child? He’s not only having to remember what we are going through now but what happened in his past. He’s reliving the beatings, the death of his mother, getting each of his scares,” the old man cringed. “He had a life time to live them before and now he’s doing it in a matter of days.”

 

“God I didn’t even think about that,” Rick scrubbed his hands over his face. “How do we help him, Hershel? It’s killin me to see him like this.”

 

“All we can do is love him through it and help him pick up the pieces on the other side.”

 

“What if he…”

 

“Don’t go down that road until we get there Rick, stay positive. He’s one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. If anyone can come through this and make a full recovery it’s Daryl.”

 

“How did he do last night?” Hershel asked as he approached Rick and Shane over by the truck where they were talking.

 

Rick shook his head, “woke up crying four times before I put him in bed with me and that’s when I realized how bad it really was.”

 

“What do you mean?” the older man asked worriedly.

 

Rick ran his hand through his mussed hair in frustration. “He was constantly twitching and turning, whimpering and shaking. I’d be surprised if he was still for an entire hour the whole night. I’ve tried to get him to talk to me about what he’s seeing but he won’t.”

 

“Maybe he really can’t,” Shane offered having come into the house to ask Rick something.

 

“What do you mean?” Hershel asked.

 

“Well when we were workin back home and that kid got hit by a car on his bike, he had a major head injury. Remember we would go check on him every couple weeks or so?”

 

“Yeah, I remember,” Rick nodded.

 

“His doctor put him on meds because of nightmares. His mom was all freaked out about it because of the side effects of the meds but it was the only way he could sleep? What if this is the same thing?”

 

“Yeah but Ben wasn’t age regressed,” Rick pointed out.

 

“No, but the memories were too traumatic for him to deal with so he couldn’t talk about them, just ended up calling them nightmares and retreating farther and farther into himself. The doctor said it was his subconscious mind remembering all the details of what happened after the temporary amnesia because his waking mind couldn’t deal with it. What if Daryl’s memories are too painful for him to process or what if he doesn’t even think their real because he doesn’t remember any of us and he’s never even seen a walker since he’s been like this?”

 

Both other men pondered on the idea for several moments. “Maybe because even the Merle he remembers would be what, thirteen in his eyes?” Rick offered.

 

“If he does see these as just nightmares and doesn’t know they are real memories and if we tell him they are,” Hershel added and let the thought hang in the air.

 

“What the hell are we supposed to do?” Rick growled. He felt like he was losing Daryl no matter what and it was ripping at his heart.

 

“Hey,” Shane said gripping his friend by the shoulder. “He will be ok and so will you. Right now it’s hard because we don’t know what to do but you are Rick Grimes and he is fucking Daryl Dixon, two of the most stubborn bastards in the world and if anyone can get through something like this, it’s you.”

 

Beth felt the eyes on her when she came in with the beans and stopped. “He’s just walking around in the yard. Maggie and Glenn are on the porch so he’s fine,” she explained before heading on into the kitchen.

 

Hershel chuckled when Rick started fidgeting and looking out the window to try and get a glimpse of the boy. “Why don’t we go out on the porch so you can keep an eye on him?”

 

Rick blushed but nodded, “Thanks, I just don’t want him out of my sight right now.”

 

They all walked out on the big front porch and Rick saw Daryl closer to camp than the house. “Don’t go too far buddy,” he called.

 

Daryl looked up and waved at Rick from his spot toward the edge of camp in the soft grass. He was down on his knees watching a Robbin peck at the ground and pull up worms. He was mesmerized by the way the bird could find the worm with just one peck! He was focused trying to see if it showed any signs of how it did its special trick when he heard Sophia whimper. Goosebumps broke out on his skin as he remembers whimpering just like that when his pa hit him. He looked back toward Rick but he was talking to Hershel and Shane and he didn’t want to bother him so he turned his attention back to the bird.

 

He saw Sophia run out from behind their tent but she didn’t get far because her daddy grabbed her arm and yanked her around to him and backhanded her causing her to fall to the ground. He didn’t give any thought to the size difference or the fact that he was only a little boy as he ran as fast as he could charging Ed. “Leave her lone!”

 

“Get the hell away from me you freak,” Ed yelled. When Daryl didn’t back down he pulled back and punched him in the head catching the boy in the temple.

 

Daryl saw a bright flash of light and then darkness for a moment as he crashed to the ground. Pain exploded in his face and head as he tried to focus on what was happening. He heard Sophia cry out and Rick and Shane yelling just before he felt Ed’s boot connect to his side.

 

“Leave him alone!” Sophia screamed at her dad earning another slap. Before He could hit her again Daryl crawled over top of her and shielded her.

 

Rick tackled Ed with the power of a freight train taking the big man to the ground like he was nothing and started punching him repeatedly in the face. “You think you’re a big man because you beat on kids and your wife? You’re a bully and a fucking coward!”

 

“What is going on?” Carol cried out as she ran to them. She’d been gathering water at the well and had no idea what was going on. By now the others had started to gather round as well.

 

“Momma!” Sophia cried as Daryl rolled off of her.

 

Carol scooped her daughter up and touched her already swelling face. “Oh, honey!” She held her close and cried with her hating that the man she called a husband was so mean.

 

“Rick,” Shane called to his friend. “Rick!” He reached out and pulled his brother off the asshole abuser. As much as he wanted to see Rick give Ed the beating he deserved he knew he had to stop him before he killed the man even if he did deserve it.  

 

“Get off of me!” Rick roared struggling to get back to Ed.

 

Shane doubled his efforts to hold him back and whispered, “Don’t do this now brother. Not in front of Sophia, Carl, and Carol.” That seemed to do the trick because he stopped struggling though he was still shaking with anger. Shane pointed to Daryl who was still laying curled up on the ground holding his head. “I’ll make sure he’s properly restrained. You take care of Daryl.”

 

Rick hated that he was so focused on punishing Ed that he’d lost focus on Daryl and Sophia. He knelt beside of the boy as he looked at Carol. “Is she ok?”

 

Carol nodded, “Thanks to Daryl, again.”

 

Rick turned Daryl onto his back and checked him over quickly. “Daryl, are you alright sweetheart?” His only response was a whimper as Daryl pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. Rick scooped the boy up and carried him quickly to the tent and laying him on the bed.

 

Hershel checked Daryl over and found no major swelling or damage though he was going to have a pretty big bruise. Ed had caught him right in the temple and knocked him out momentarily. “He will be fine but you need to keep him awake for the next few hours,” he explained to Rick. “I’m going to check on Sophia.”

 

Rick sat next to Daryl holding his hand while murmuring soothing words to him. He had wanted to give Daryl a shot at a happy childhood but all he’s managed to do was let him get hurt in some way or another. It broke his heart that he couldn’t even give Daryl a chance to be happy when he was starting over.

 

Daryl’s head was spinning and pounding and he felt like he was going to hurl. He tried to open his eyes but the brightness in the tent felt like daggers stabbing him in the eyeballs. It took a moment for him to realize someone was beside him holding his hand. Using his other hand to shield his eyes, “Hurts,” he rasped.

 

Rick looked up, ecstatic that Daryl was speaking already. “Oh!” He quickly dropped the flaps on the door and windows in the tent making it much darker. “That better sweetheart?”

 

He nodded but it made everything in his tummy and his head lurch around and shake. He felt like he was spinning and he reached out for Rick with his other hand. Anything to make the feeling ease up.

 

“I'm here little one. So proud of you for protecting Sophia like that but you should have called for me.”

 

“Fia ok?”

 

“She’s got a bruise like you but she will be alright.” He felt Daryl trembling but before he could ask what was wrong Daryl’s arms were up, gesturing that he wanted Rick to hold him. He gladly scooped the boy up and cradled him placing a soft kiss on the bruised temple.

 

Daryl rested against Rick feeling safer but still nauseated. Rick kissed his head better and he decided that helped too so he took the other man’s hand and put it to his side where he’d been kicked.

 

He couldn’t help but smile. “Here too?” He lifted the boy’s shirt and kissed his side, rubbing his finger over the red mark from Ed’s boot. “Better?”

 

Daryl nodded yes and instantly regretted it as his stomach protested and some little drummer was banging repeatedly on his brain trying to make it explode. He was going to be sick but he couldn’t say anything or he would throw up on Rick.

 

His smile faded quickly as he watched Daryl turn a nasty shade of green. Acting quickly, like a father who’d had this experience before, he jumped to his feet and ran toward the tent door. He managed to get Daryl out of the tent before he emptied the bile in his stomach.

 

“Son of a bitch!” Lori yelled indignantly as Daryl threw up all over her leg and foot.

 

Rick looked up at his ex and saw the disgust on her face. “Sorry,” he shrugged before turning his attention back to Daryl. “Better sweetheart?”

 

He nodded again and instantly threw up because of it, hitting Lori’s leg once more. He had to stop moving his head! “Ugh,” he whined and turned for Rick to pick him up again.

 

“Hold on buddy let’s get you cleaned up a little bit first.” He turned looking for a cloth and some water finding both near a laundry basket. He grabbed them then went back to Daryl dampening the cloth and wiping his face and mouth with it. “Rinse your mouth out,” he tipped the bottle against the boy’s lips and watched as he spat it back out. When he was satisfied he was cleaned up and his mouth was rinsed he picked Daryl up and sat him on his hip.

 

He walked and did everything he could to try to keep Daryl awake but with the adrenaline wearing off and being drained from getting sick Rick was fighting to get him to keep his eyes open. He saw Carl sitting at the picnic table playing a game with Sophia, Carol sitting next to her protectively. He walked over, “Mind if we join you?”

 

“You ok Daryl?” Carl asked.

 

He started to nod but caught himself. “’M fine,” he yawned.

 

“He needs to stay awake for a little while and we could use some help,” Rick pleaded.

 

Carl took it upon himself to show Daryl how to play the game and when he realized that monopoly was too complicated for him at that age he told Daryl that it was his job to roll the dice and he would move the piece. It seemed to work and they played happily together but Daryl would start to doze off every once in a while. Each time Rick would gently nudge him awake.

 

Carol looked at Rick and silently thanked him for what he’d done before turning her attention to the kids. Sophia and Daryl both would carry the bruises for a while but her heart felt strong for the first time since she’d met Ed. She had a new family, people who loved her and her daughter and would do anything to protect them no matter what Ed told her. She was gaining the confidence to tell him to leave and she knew her new family would back her up. She would do it soon.


	9. Chapter 9

 

Rick was sitting on the steps of the Greene’s front porch rubbing his temples trying to ward off yet another headache. Daryl and Sophia were sitting a few feet away in the soft grass playing in the cool of the early morning. “You look exhausted,” Maggie said as she sat down beside him. “Why don’t you take a nap? I’ll keep an eye on him.”

 

“No,” he cringed at his own tone. “I’m sorry I just,” he sighed.

 

“It’s ok,” she smiled and rubbed his arm. “I know you’re worried about him. I just wish there was something I could do to help.” She’d come to view Daryl as a little brother and wanted to know the grown Daryl as well. “Glenn and I are heading out this morning on another run. With the extra people, dad is afraid the food we have won’t last through the winter and Otis hasn’t had any luck hunting lately. Anything you need us to look for?”

 

“I’m sorry we are being such a burden to your family,” he sighed pushing himself up off the steps and walking away. He hated that they were causing problems for their new friends, that it seemed like he had no control over anything anymore. They needed to move on but he didn’t know how with Daryl the way he was. Hell, the boy had never even seen a walker before and he didn’t know if he would completely melt down or recede farther into himself. He looked back toward the porch where Maggie was still sitting, stunned, and saw Daryl looking at him as if he were afraid he was going to leave him. He had to make some hard decisions and prayed that he would choose the right ones.

 

Shane had just given Glenn a list of things the camp needed and was getting ready to go check on the fences to be sure things were still secure for the cows. They needed to keep them as safe as they could with food getting harder to find. He saw Rick standing halfway between the house and the camp and when the sheriff caught his eye he motioned for Shane to come to him. The closer he got he the more he realized how upset Rick looked. “What’s wrong brother?”

 

“I don’t know when or even if Daryl is going to come out of this state that he is in.”

 

“Don’t say that,” Shane growled. He didn’t like hearing the defeat in his friend’s voice.

 

“I have to start making decisions about our future Shane and as much as I love him Daryl isn’t the only one I’m responsible for.” Tears stung his eyes as he swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I’d never do anything to endanger him but we are eating Hershel out of house and home and the time is going to come that we have to move on from here.”

 

“What are you trying to say?”

 

“We need to take him out and show him a walker and what happens with them. We are going to have to teach him to be quiet and when to run and when to stay put. I know that there is a chance that it will be too much for him but we don’t have a choice; I don’t have a choice,” his voice broke.

 

Shane was stunned but he knew Rick hadn’t come to this decision lightly and he knew it was killing him because he might end up doing more harm to the man he loved so much. “What if I go farther out and look for food? Maybe I can spend some more time learning to hunt and…”

 

“No,” Rick shook his head. He was grateful that Shane was trying to help but they both knew that Daryl had to learn about the world they lived in now. “Otis is hunting every day and not finding anything and you know yourself most of the stores we find are picked clean of food.”

 

He knew Rick was right but it still worried him. Daryl did need to learn to be safe, as safe as anyone can be now days, and maybe they could find a way to even teach him to defend himself. “We will teach him, Rick,” he reassured. “He will learn to move quietly and safe because he’s Daryl and he’s like a damn ninja when he wants to be.”

 

“I need you to promise me something brother.”

 

“Anything man,” Shane replied instantly.

 

“If we can’t teach him to be safe or for some reason he gets worse and regresses, even more, I need you to promise me that you will take care of Carl. Promise me you will keep my boy safe Shane,” the tears he’d been fighting finally breaking free and slipping down his face.

 

“No,” he shook his head, “don’t talk like that Rick!” He was pacing back and forth in frustration, “You aren’t going anywhere, you hear me?”

 

“Trust me, I don’t want to but I can’t abandon Daryl like everyone else has his entire life. Carl will have a family with you and Lori.”

 

“We are a family, all of us including Daryl! Why would you want to leave that?”

 

“I don’t want to Shane but everyone is worried about what will happen with him and the walkers. If their suspensions are right, if he ends up panicking like any kid would, like you said even Carl and Sophia did at first then we have to do what is best for everyone.”

 

“I do not accept this Rick!” Shane snapped, his own heart was breaking. “At least promise me that we will give it some time? Promise me you won’t take him out once before we ever give him a chance to adjust and decide you’re leaving.”

 

Rick thought about Shane’s request and saw the reason in it. The first time Daryl sees a walker and sees one killed he’s going to freak out, hell Rick freaked out himself. If there is a chance he could be taught then Rick would see it through. The last thing he wanted to do was leave his family and to make Daryl feel like he was the reason any of this happened. “I promise.”

 

“Then let’s get started. I’ll go get some different weapons together and you get Daryl ready. We will go out and introduce him to the world. There is a small subdivision just south of the farm, easy to get too and last time we were there only a few walkers were around. It will be a good place to start.” Rick pulled him into a crushing hug that only lasted a moment but he was pretty sure if it had lasted longer Rick would have broken his ribs.

 

He looked into his best friends eyes trying to convey the gratitude and relief he was feeling knowing he wasn’t in this alone. “I’ll go get him ready.”

 

***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***~~~***

 

Daryl sat stiffly in the back seat of the car chewing on his thumb as he stared worriedly out the window. He could hear Rick and Shane talking but his mind was focused on what was happening. When Rick came to tell him they were going somewhere he could sense the tension in him. He kept going over everything in his head trying to remember if he did something bad but he didn’t think so. Rick promised he’d never throw him away but what if he was more trouble than Rick had first thought? He had been in fights with Lori and ‘fia’s papa and the Andrea lady thought he was going to be a problem too. He knew that he was too happy for it to last and resided himself to the fact that he was being taken back to his Pa and Merle. Biting his lip really hard he forced himself not to cry and act like a baby, it wouldn’t be tolerated at home.

 

Shane kept glancing in the rear view and Rick in the side mirror watching the boy in the back seat. Both men kept talking and trying to engage him in conversation to relax him but it wasn’t working. Shane pulled to a stop in front of a two-story colonel and steadied himself for what was to come.

 

“I don’t think he can do this,” Rick said softly. He was worried about Daryl and wondering if he was doing the kid more damage already. He hadn’t said a word since they left the farm no matter what he and Shane had tried.

 

“Can do it,” Daryl tried to sound brave. He pushed the door open and climbed shakily out of the car, scared but wanting to get it over with.

 

“No, wait!” they both hissed and quickly got out. Rick grabbed Daryl by the arm and stopped him. “Never walk away from me! It’s dangerous out here and you could get hurt!”

 

Tears welled in Daryl’s eyes, “Why ‘ou cawe?”

 

“What? I care because I care about you, that’s why we are out here.” He looked around to make sure they were still safe even though he could see Shane was keeping watch just to his left.

 

“Nu’uh,” he shook his head angrily and crossed his arms over his chest. “You takin’ me back ta Pa!”

 

“What? Daryl sweetheart no,” he pulled the boy into a hug. “We brought you out here because there is something you need to see. There are things, they look sort of like people but they are not. They are bad things that will kill you if you aren’t careful.” He felt Daryl start to tremble in his arms and stepped back enough to look him in the eyes. “I’m not going to let them hurt you but I need your help. I need you to help me keep everyone else safe like Shane is right now.” He hoped this angle would help Daryl deal with what he was about to see.

 

He pushed down his fear and nodded his head because he wanted to help protect everyone just like Carl and Rick did.

 

“The first rule is that you listen and do as you are told even if it means not being able to stay with me. I promise you that if we get separated I will find you. Do you understand?”

 

Daryl nodded but he didn’t like the thought of not being with Rick.

 

“Rule two is that you have to be very quiet. They are attracted to noise and if we are quiet, a lot of times they will walk on past us.”

 

“We are going to show you a walker, one of the bad things, but Shane and I will keep you safe I promise. Just stay by my side and do what we tell you ok?” Daryl nodded. “Use your words buddy. I need to hear you say it.”

 

“Kay, I be good,” he said bravely. He wasn’t sure why but for some reason he knew that this was very important and he needed to learn it.

 

Rick kissed his head and took Daryl’s hand with his left, leaving the right free to use the colt if he had too. Shane walked to Daryl’s left, Rick to his right as they quietly maneuvered carefully through the overgrown yards. He tensed and squeezed Rick’s hand tight when Shane held his hand up in the air.

 

Rick moved Daryl against the side of the house while Shane peered around the corner checking out the situation. “Just one of them,” he whispered.

 

Rick nodded and moved Daryl to the corner of the house so he could see the walker. The boy jumped and slammed back against his chest, trembling as he saw it. He wrapped his arms around him and kissed the top of his head. “Not going to let anything happen to you,” he whispered in his ear. “Shane is going to show you what it looks like when one of them dies now,” he explained before nodding to his friend over his shoulder.

 

Shane took out his big buck knife and moved away from the house drawing the walker closer. When he felt it was near enough for Daryl to see up close he stabbed it in the head killing it.

 

Daryl spun around and pressed his face tight to Rick’s chest clinging to him, his body wracked with silent sobs. Rick held him tight, rocking him, “It’s ok Daryl. You’re safe I promise little one. Shhh,” he soothed.

 

Shane stepped up and rubbed Daryl’s back, “It’s over now kiddo. You did great.”

 

“Let’s get back to the car,” Rick sighed. He knew this was going to be hard on the boy and it was killing him to know he had a part in making him feel like this but it had to be done. The short trek back through the yards seemed like it took an eternity and Daryl’s shaking was getting worse. “Wait,” he lifted Daryl into his arms, one arm under his bottom and the other around his back. Daryl’s arms wrapped around him and his wet face buried against the juncture of his neck and shoulder. “I’ve got ya, sweetheart. Please calm down,” he kissed his temple as they started walking again.

 

“What the hell?” Shane tensed when he saw someone rummaging through their car. He ran forward, gun drawn, “What do you think you’re doing?”

 

Merle stood up quickly when he heard someone speak. “Well, I’ll be damned if it ain’t deputy dog.”

 

“Merle?” Shane was stunned to see the eldest Dixon, to say the least.

 

Daryl tightened his grip on Rick when he heard Merle’s name. “No send me way, pease, no send me way.”

 

“What the hell is this?” Merle demanded when he saw Rick carrying Daryl like a baby. He started toward his brother but was cut off by Shane.

 

“There are some things we need to talk about before you do that.”

 

Rick opens the car door and sets Daryl down in the seat. “I want you to stay here for a second sweetheart. I need to talk to this man for a second and then I will be right back.”

 

“No! No!” Daryl screeched and struggled out of the car trying to jump back into Rick’s arms.

 

“Shhhh, ok,” he picked him up again and rubbed his back.

 

Shane got in Merle’s face and spoke softly so that only he could hear him. “Daryl had an accident a little over a week ago.”

 

“That’s not an accident,” he growled and glared at Rick who had his hands all over his brother.

 

“He fell and hit his head on a rock Merle,” Shane hissed. “It was bad and it caused something called Age regression. He thinks he’s three years old!”

 

Rick sat Daryl down on the trunk of the car so he could still hold him without having to hold his weight. The boy had finally quieted back down to hiccupped gasps when Merle stormed back to them. “What the hell is this baby brother?”

 

Daryl whimpered and tried to get away but the big man grabbed his arm. “No hut me, pease!”

 

Merle saw the fear in his brother's blue eyes and memories flooded back of the way Daryl used to talk when he was little and how he would cry and plead when their old man was on a bender. The innocents in the blue eyes pierced his soul. Could what Shane said be true? Does that sort of thing even happen? He turned his eyes to Rick, “What the hell did you do to him?”

 

“I didn’t do anything to him,” he bristled.

 

“Daryl, come on you’re going with me now.” He tugged his brother’s arm and started to pull him off the car when Daryl leaned forward and bit his good arm drawing blood. “Son of a bitch!”

 

Rick didn’t have time to react to Merle grabbing Daryl’s arm before Daryl bit down and slid off the trunk kicking the bigger Dixon in the shins yelling for him to get away and leave him alone. All the noise had drawn some unwanted attention as several walkers approached their location. He grabbed Daryl and hauled him to the car shoving him in the backseat before crawling in with him. Shane jumped into the front seat and sped off, Merle following close in his truck. When they were far enough away to be safe Rick sighed, “Pull over. We need to deal with this now.”

 

Daryl was still crying and Rick reached into the pack he fixed for the trip and grabbed a bottle. Once Shane had stopped he got out, sat Daryl on the trunk before climbing up next to him. Daryl was instantly trying to climb into his lap and he positioned him so that the boy was cradled in his arms then he placed the nipple to his lips. It took a moment but Daryl finally latched on and suckled more for comfort than anything as he fisted Rick’s shirt in his hand.

 

Merle stood in shock at the sight before him and realized the two cops must be telling the truth because there was no way in hell that Daryl Dixon would ever let someone hold him that way much less suck on a damn bottle.

 

“Not going to do this with you,” Rick glared at Merle. “He’s upset enough and you are just going to have to nut up and accept this for what it is.” He looked down when Daryl’s hand slipped from his shirt and was grateful the exhausted boy’s had slid shut. He slipped the still full bottle from his mouth and sat it on the car.

 

He didn’t know what to do. On the one hand, he was glad to see Daryl and on the other there was no way in hell that he wanted to take on the responsibility of all this. “Yeah, I accept it. Looks like he’s in good hands,” he nodded, backing toward his truck.

 

“You mean to tell me you’re leaving?” Rick was livid. “You are just going to abandon him all over again when you have the chance to finally make his childhood right?”

 

“He ain’t my kid! I didn’t ask for him to be brought into this world and he ain’t my damn responsibility!” He did realize a lot of mistakes that he made with Daryl and the more the thought about it the angrier he got. Memories of their old man beating them both, his drunken rages and their mom passed out or so drunk she couldn’t function flooded back. When they had brought Daryl home from the hospital he went out into the woods because he didn’t want to deal with a baby. When he came back a week later he found Daryl squalling and bruised, diaper full with a rash that showed he hadn’t been changed in a very long time and Merle got pissed. Pissed that his parents brought another life into the world that they would never love and pissed that he was going to be the one stuck caring for it if it was going to live. Resentment flooded him then and now at the thought of having to try to raise Daryl all over again partly because he didn’t want the responsibility anymore now than he did then and partly because he knew that he took his anger out on Daryl his entire life. He hadn’t even realized he was doing it, always having some excuse for hitting him or berating him but the truth was he was just as bad on Daryl as his father had been. He didn’t want to make the same mistakes he’d made with him the first time and he didn’t want a baby to take care of now any more than he did as a kid. “Take care of him and if he remembers me, tell him ol’ Merle loves him,” He got in his truck and sped away.

 

Rick and Shane looked at each other in disbelief. “I.. he..” Shane threw his hands in the air in exasperation.

 

“Let’s go home,” Rick sighed, exhausted.


	10. Chapter 10

A week had passed since Daryl had seen his first walker and he was doing better than any of them had ever expected. He was still timid and wanted to be close to Rick but they were able to teach him to defend himself if he had to. He laughed when Shane had drawn a head on a grain sack and fixed it on a scarecrow but it had turned out to be a really good idea because Daryl wasn’t scared of it and they were able to teach him a technique to stab a walker in the head. He didn’t want to do it at first but the moment he made the first stab it felt like something he’d been doing for a lifetime. The weight of the knife balanced in his hand, the arch of his arm as he swung with all his strength to break through the skull was almost comforting.

 

Daryl seemed to be settling more now and wasn’t as timid and afraid of everyone. Rick had gotten on to him several times for giving Ed dirty looks because he didn’t want him to provoke the man but truth be told Rick really wanted to beat the hell out of him again himself. He was giving Carol the time she needed to fix things though because it was about her and Sophia, not the rest of them but he hoped she did it soon.

 

Winter was starting to set in on the farm, the days getting colder and the wind stronger making it harder on the group outside. Rick and Shane had been doing their best to work on the food situation and he was sure Daryl was almost ready to travel and they could find a place of their own so they could take the stress off of Hershel and his family. They had been nice people but Rick couldn’t help but feel that Hershel felt like they were more trouble than they were worth. Every move he made seemed to be questioned and watched which pissed Shane off to no end and probably should have him too but he was just so damn tired he didn’t care anymore. He’d been skipping meals, eating the bare minimum to stay alive and functioning to try and save on food stores. He knew Shane had been doing the same because he was looking as gaunt and strained as Rick felt. Daryl seemed to be picking up on their stress, that or just following what they were doing because he wasn’t eating either. Rick could only get him to take one bottle of supplement a day now and no solid food at all and it was weighing on him. The boy’s ribs were protruding and his stomach concave and Rick knew that if something didn’t change soon Daryl was going to get even sicker.

 

A touch to his arm brought him back to the present and he looked sheepishly at Shane. “Sorry.”

 

“You need to eat something man, you look like you are about to pass out.”

 

“And you don’t?”

 

He sighed, “Stubborn bastard.”

 

Rick arched his brow and chuckled, “I learned it from you.”

 

“So what do you think, North or South?” Shane asked as he looked at the map. They’d been trying to pick a place to head to when they left there.

 

“I want to say south because it’s warmer and there is water which might be an option but part of me really wants to know how the cold and snow is going to affect them. Will it slow them down? Will it make them decompose faster? If the snow is deep can they even walk in it? Imagine how many we could wipe out if they were stuck in the snow and we just had to kill them?”

 

“So what if we try to stay around this area or north of here for the winter and see what happens. If it’s not what we hoped for then we go south?”

 

“Do you think they can make it through winter here?” he asked, glancing back at their ragtag group.

 

“As long as we stick together then we will make it.”

 

Neither man saw Hershel approaching which told the older man all he needed to know about their condition. He had no idea what was going on with them but Rick had been avoiding him like he had the plague and he was going to find out why. “You got a minute?”

 

Rick nearly jumped out of his skin and Shane’s hand grabbed the butt of his gun before he registered who was speaking. Maybe they both really did need to eat and rest if the old man was getting the drop on them.

 

“I’ll leave you to it,” Shane gathered the map and went to check on Daryl.

 

“What can I do for you, Hershel?” Rick’s tone was as stiff as his body.

 

“What’s going on Rick?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You have been avoiding me, you look like you haven’t eaten in days and you are more on edge than you were the day you first came here,” he answered bluntly.

 

“Just trying to get us out of your hair is all.”

 

“Have I asked you to leave?”

 

“Outright no but you told me as soon as we found Sophia we would need to leave then when Daryl got well enough. I get it, we are a burden on the farm and you’re family and with Daryl unable to hunt we aren’t having any luck bringing in extra food. We are trying to keep our consumption down to a minimum,” he sighed.

 

Hershel cringed at that. He’d forgotten even telling Rick he needed them to go but that was before he’d gotten to know them and the type of people they were. “I’m sorry I haven’t spoken to you about it before now but you are welcome to stay here. Yes we have more people to feed but you do a lot of work here and you are keeping us safe. It sounds like a good trade off to me, besides, the winter might be a little lean but we will make it. I came out here to invite you and your people to move into the house. I should have done it a long time ago but I wasn’t thinking.”

 

Rick didn’t know what to say. An immense weight was lifted off his shoulders and his knees felt weak. “You sure about this?”

 

“Get your people to start moving all your stuff up to the house then I want you, Daryl and Shane to come up to the house,” he told him before going back himself.

 

Rick gathered everyone around and told them what Hershel had said. Everyone was excited and relieved to be going inside and started gathering their stuff and taking down the tents. “Hershel wants to see us before we start moving things,” he told Shane who was cradling Daryl in his chair. The boy didn’t look good at all. He was pale, clammy and gaunt looking.

 

“Rick,” Carol said softly, “Can I see you both before you go up to the house?”

 

“Sure,” Rick nodded as Shane sat Daryl down in the chair and followed her as well. Once they were out of earshot of the others she turned to them, wringing her hands nervously. “I want to tell him to leave but I.. I’m afraid to do it alone. He’s going to be mad and I just want ya’ll there to stop him from hurting me. Sophia is in the RV with Dale so she won’t have to see any of this.”

 

Rick smiled at her, “You can do this. You are one of the strongest women I have ever met Carol.”

 

“Thanks,” she fidgeted hoping she was as strong as he thought she was.

 

“Daryl, stay there and I’ll be right back,” he kissed the boys head.

 

“Kay,” he nodded tiredly.

 

Carol strode over to her tent which had been moved toward the outskirts of camp since the incident with Sophia and Daryl because Ed didn’t want Rick to be able to get the drop on him easily. She approached the man who was sitting in a chair, with confidence knowing the two former Sheriffs were backing her. “Ed we need to talk.”

 

He eyed Rick and Shane cautiously though he tried not to show any unease. “Don’t have a damn thing to say to any of you.”

 

“That’s good because all you need to do is listen.” She flinched when he tensed like he was going to hit her but he never moved to stand up. “I want you gone. You aren’t welcome here anymore and if it were possible I would divorce you but it’s not, so consider yourself single.”

 

“You can’t talk to me like that you bitch!” Ed surged to his feet and went after his wife but Rick and Shane moved to intervene.

 

~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**

 

Daryl watched as people started loading things into the truck and taking stuff to the house. Everyone was either at the house or over by ‘fia’s tent or in the RV except him and Lori who was loading stuff into a box. He watched as she started crying and slamming stuff down and remembered his momma doing that when she and pa had a bad fight. He watched as she started to sob and walked toward the field. He didn’t want her to be sad and he knew Rick had told him to stay put but if he went to her he’d be with an adult. Chewing his lip and weighing the options he decided to get up and go to her.

 

Lori gasped and spun around when she felt a hand on her shoulder. “What do you want?” she snapped, wiping at her tears.

 

“You sad,” he told her. “No, be sad. Is kay,” he patted her arm trying to comfort her.

 

“What do you know?”

 

He shrugged innocently and continued patting her.

 

She shoved at him nearly knocking him off his feet. “What do you know? If you hadn’t wiggled your ass and batted your eyes then none of this would be happening! I would have had Rick back, Shane would be gone and we would be a family! Now I have no one but this baby!” She went off, everything she’d been holding inside for so long flooding out like a dam had burst as she lashed out at the one person she put all the blame on. In her mind, she didn’t see the things she’d done wrong or that she had made any mistakes at all. She considered everything she did something that had to be done to better her position in this life.

 

Daryl didn’t understand anything that she was talking about other than family, he understood that word now and baby. “Carl is kay. He over d’er,” he pointed to the house.

 

“Just go away,” she cried. Anger rushed through her when he didn’t move. “Get away from me!” she screamed.

 

Daryl jumped when she screamed at him, tears filling his eyes, he’d just wanted to comfort her. He was about to walk away when he heard something that he couldn’t quite make out because she was still yelling at him and calling him names. He knew the sound but he couldn’t place it until the smell hit his nose and made it burn. Things happened so fast it made his head spin. A walker stumbled out of the too weeds just a few feet behind Lori and it grabbed her shirt. He watched her spin around and shove at it to no avail as she screamed for help.

 

Rick, Shane, Glenn, and T-Dog were just all getting back to the main camp area having tied Ed up until they could take him somewhere and drop him when they heard Lori scream. They all started running to her and Daryl as the walker was snapping its teeth trying to bite her. Shane drew his revolver but he didn’t have a clear shot. Rick’s heart stopped as he saw Daryl grab the knife on his belt and jump toward the dead man. He buried the knife to the hilt in the walker’s skull ending it’s dead reign on earth but it fell on top of him crushing him to the ground beneath it.

 

Shane grabbed Lori and checked her over as Rick fell to his knees next to the fallen boy. “Daryl!?” His voice shook with emotion as he shoved the walker off of him and started checking him. There were no bites but there was some blood on the back of his head where he’d fallen backward. “Damn it!” How much more could the poor man take?

 

“Let’s get him to Hershel,” Shane said from his side.

 

He nodded and lifted Daryl up and into his arms. “You alright?” he asked Lori who was obviously very shaken up.

All she could do was nod at him through her shock. Daryl had just saved her life at the risk of his own after everything she’d done to him and accused him of. She let Shane lead her to the farmhouse with them as the others stayed and finished clearing the area.

 

“What happened?” Hershel asked as they entered the house.

 

“Walker attacked Lori and Daryl saved her. When he killed it the thing fell on him and he hit his head. “Take him to the middle bedroom,” he pointed toward the one they were in last time. “Beth get my bag, some water, and a cloth.”

 

The vet examined the boy carefully and didn’t see any signs of concussion or swelling. He did have a small knot forming and a little laceration but he cleaned it and put some gauze around his head. He looked up to see three sets of eyes staring at him worriedly. “He’s very underweight and dehydrated like I am sure the two of you are as well,” he pointed to the two men. “He will probably have a headache but he will be fine.”

 

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief and Rick sat down in a chair next to the bed and held his hand. “What the hell happened?” he asked Lori.

 

“I was,” she paused, “he came to see about me and I yelled at him, told him to go away.” Tears fell from her eyes, “I didn’t see the walker until it grabbed me and he,” she choked up.

 

“Let’s look at you too,” Hershel said as he ushered her into another room, Shane following.

 

Rick watched as the door shut leaving him alone with Daryl in the same room he first become a ‘baby’ in. He sat in that same spot for twelve hours before falling asleep with his head resting next to their joined hands.

 

Daryl’s eyes fluttered open and he groaned at the pain in his head willing the little man beating his skull with a hammer to stop. After a few moments he became aware of two things, one, he was in a soft bed and two, someone was holding his hand. He tried to gently remove his hand and see who was next to him but his eyes were still blurry.

 

Rick woke as soon as he felt the movement, “Daryl? Are you ok sweet boy? You had me so worried!”

 

Did he just call him sweet boy? “Head hurts,” his voice sounded rough to his own ears.

 

“I know little one,” he soothed and moved to sit on the bed next to him. “When you saved Lori the walker it fell on you and you hit your head.”

 

“Didn’t save Lori,” he frowned. “I found Sophia. She ok?”

 

“Yeah she’s fine but that was weeks ago sweetheart.” Rick froze. Daryl wasn’t speaking like a little kid anymore and he remembered finding Sophia. “Daryl?”

 

“Yeah?” He cracked one eye open to look at his confused friend.

 

He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at this new development. “H..how old are you?”

 

“What?” He scrunched up his face and looked at Rick like he was nuts. “The hell does that matter?”

 

“Oh my God, you’re really back,” he said gleefully.

 

“Where’d I go?” He was so confused.

 

Rick grabbed the collar of Daryl’s shirt in both hands and pulled him up off the bed a little bit. “Don’t you ever leave me again Dixon!”

 

“I didn’t,” before he could argue more Rick’s lips were pressed against his. He’d never admit the squeak that escaped in surprise when his friend's tongue pushed past his lips and explored the inside of his mouth. He still didn’t know what the hell was going on but he’d wanted this for a while now and he wasn’t going to pull away. Instead, he threaded his fingers through Rick’s hair holding him in place as he wound the other arm around his back.

 

Rick reluctantly broke the kiss strictly due to lack of air. Pulling back just enough to look at Daryl’s kiss-swollen lips and bright blue eyes he couldn’t help but smile. “Been wanting to do that for a while now.”

 

“Yeah?” he arched a brow at the former Sherriff.

 

“Couldn’t wait any longer,” he said as he gently stroked the side of Daryl’s face with his thumb.

 

“I’m glad,” he could feel the heat in his face from blushing at the admission.

 

“Really?” Rick asked, surprised by that.

 

Daryl chuckled, “you are such an idiot sometimes.”

 

“Yeah, I’ve been told that before,” he laughed.

 

“Um, Rick?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Why am I wearing a diaper?”

 

“Well…..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading and all the wonderful comments and kudos!


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